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[Matias]

I don't know how many of you remember me, or if many of you know me very well, but I suppose it's time I made this thread.

I'll be leaving for Weston, Florida, in a little over a month. After that, I'll be taking a flight to Argentina. I'll explain why. I'll try not to forget any details, as it's been a long time since I've explained it.

Here's the summary:

About 11 years ago, my family came to the U.S. due to some heavy economic problems in my country of origin, Uruguay. My father was an architect, my mother, an attorney. My parents couldn't find work, so we moved back into my grandparents' house. We were living in a house with very little income and a growing number of inhabitants. Some days we didn't eat. However, I was too small and too distracted to be emotionally affected by our poverty. My dad had taken a business trip to Miami about a year before we moved, hoping to land a respectable architectural job. He did, and because of that, he began preparing for our big move to the states. My brother and I, after about half a year of screaming fits against it, were obviously brought along.

Two or three years later, something happened. I'm not really sure what it was exactly, but I know it had something to do with my father's green card not being signed, and unfriendly relations with his boss (who is supposed to sign the green card). That green card, if I remember correctly, is what would have led us to become fully acknowledged citizens of the United States, and what would have allowed us to continue living here. Because of what happened, my father couldn't renew all our Visas, only his own. Or something like that. Our citizenship and livelihood came in jeopardy, I suppose, and my parents had to choose between leaving, or sticking around for an alternative solution. I guess my parents made the decision to stay, for whatever motives they may have had. Maybe our country still didn't have jobs for them, or perhaps they didn't want us to grow up in an insignificant country with virtually no opportunity for greatness... I don't really remember, or perhaps I was never told. All I remember is that my parents didn't consider leaving an option, so they decided to continue living here until a new opportunity for citizenship showed up.

For years, they kept a close eye on bills being tossed around that could potentially get us out of our situation. Nothing promising developed.

Fast-forward up to last April, when they finally broke the news to me...

They told me they were hoping the DREAM act would pass, allowing my brother and I a shot at becoming citizens of the U.S. We were to stay for the outcome of that. If it didn't work out, we would leave to Buenos Aires, Argentina, where we would all be given citizenship. It didn't work out. That was quite a bummer, considering they were paying for my brother's college education primarily in hopes of having him be instantly eligible for what the DREAM act proposed. After hearing my thoughts about the situation, they tried to find some way to let me finish High school. I would not have done my last two years in a foreign school with a foreign language I hardly know how to speak. School is much harder in Argentina as well. I didn't want to drop out. Luckily, my father found a source of under-the-table income, which allowed us to stay for at least a year longer. They worked a deal with my school that would let me to take both my Junior and Senior year classes in one, allowing me to muster just enough credits to pass. Now that time has almost passed...

It has been... hard. Very, very hard. But I've almost done it. I only have a few final exams and 20+ assignments to do in my online class before May 10th, and I'll be graduating. I just hope I can get that online schoolwork done in time...

This past year has probably been the best year of my life. I've learned a lot. It was filled with every range of emotion imaginable. I know my description of the situation was much less emotional this time around, but that's because I don't have a lot of time to waste. There are certainly bitter emotions about all this... I've had to decide between staying with my family and allowing my closest friend's family to adopt me, among other things... but I can't use my time on explaining all the breakdowns, the tears, the fear, etc... Just assume, if you can.

Anyway, now that I've explained the outcome of my conundrum (I thought you would all like to know, considering how wonderfully supportive you all were when I originally shared it) I think it's time to explain why I'm leaving - or more accurately, have left.

I've considered myself out of Youchew for about half a year now. I didn't really want to make a big scene when I left, and I didn't want anyone to miss me or anything, so I left in silence. I've been here for... 3 years, is it? Maybe? I've lost count. Yet, as long as I've been here, it doesn't seem like I left much of a lasting impression on anyone, save a couple people. My leaving had many reasons, many of which I won't get into in order to keep this text wall relatively short. There is one I feel the need to mention, though.

My silent absence was somewhat of an experiment, one to see how much of a presence I had in the community. Apparently, I had a very weak one. I noticed that I did not have any strong connections here, judging from the general indifference toward my departure, which furthered my belief that I wasn't a part of this community. Which is fine, there were reasons for that.

After overcoming my long-lasting depression last Summer, my attitude and personality changed quite dramatically. I still think you guys are smart and nice, but frankly, I no longer fit here. I feel that my humor, attitude, and interests have become far too different from all of yours. In fact, I believe I've been growing distant from this community long before that change began taking place, when my depression truly took hold.

I had grown into a complete emotional surrender, which was accompanied by a great lethargy that prevented me from socializing effectively. I stopped caring much about humor, video games, movies and what-have-you. However, I didn't stop caring about everything. I still valued other people, and I found interest in the lives and thoughts of others. I had always been a pretty touchy-feely, emotional kind of guy like that. I liked sappiness. I still do. It helped me feel human. Throughout my life, I had always felt very alienated due to my difference in maturity. (Or so I've been told. I'm not quite egoistic enough to consider myself distinctively above the maturity level of everyone in my age group.)

Youchew, at least at the time, seemed meant to be a more lighthearted affair. The people I attempted to talk to gave me that impression, anyway. Many people seemed to be emotionally dead, at least in my eyes. I felt... weird. Too different. Again, alienated. I wasn't about to assume that everyone on Youchew was odd for not talking about life and feelings more often. I thought I was the strange one for having such a strong desire to talk about these things. The only time others took an interest in talking to me about these things was if they were in emotional turmoil. Whenever I did find a source of that kind of emotional relation, it seemed to be strictly depressive. I was hoping to find an eccentric somewhere, some kind of person who seemed to be alive and colorful. Still, I enjoyed listening to people talk about their thoughts, and helping them out if I could, so I did that. I discovered that I wasn't very good at helping, and even if I did help, others would quickly stop caring about me once my use had been fulfilled. It didn't help my already negative self-esteem when that happened. It was quite disappointing.

Whether it is true or not, I began to consider Youchew a very melancholy, pessimistic place where the only concerns were humor, video games, and internet culture references. And if you're into humor, video games, and internet culture references, that's okay. I simply don't relate to you. I think I'm in the general minority, on and off Youchew, when I say that I'm mainly and almost exclusively interested in human relations. Luckily, I found another community that fits those needs well, which is the biggest reason why I'm not around. I've found another online community that I can relate to and enjoy with much greater ease. They've also helped me develop a very successful offline social life, among countless other positive changes. I'm pretty happy with them. They're sappy, like me.

Now, I'll say that there are certainly people I get along with on this website. They're just very difficult to find and grow relations with, due to our great differences in tastes and thought. Just letting you guys know that I'm aware that not everyone falls perfectly into this generalization.

Anyway, I just wanted to give you guys a formal goodbye instead of simply disappearing into the abyss as I have. You guys have given me some wonderful, amazingly fun and hilarious times. I've learned a lot here, and made some great friends. It really has been a ride. I don't think I'll ever leave completely, as I'll always check in on this place every once in a blue moon... but I have been done participating in it for a while now, and I don't think I'll be doing it again.

Oh, for the record, I still enjoy youtube poop occasionally, and though I've grown quite distant from it, I have considered getting back into the remix culture someday, if the mood ever struck.

... Once again, thanks everyone. I considered you guys family, once... Maybe we still are. But I'm moving on now.
Bye <3

[Crazy Luigi]

I was just thinking about you, actually! Trust me when I say that I haven't forgotten about you. I can see how this place hasn't really been the same as it was beforehand, but it has also given some fun times and cool people to see around. Still, I'll see you later, and wish you the best of luck.

[Matias]

I was just thinking about you, actually! Trust me when I say that I haven't forgotten about you. I can see how this place hasn't really been the same as it was beforehand, but it has also given some fun times and cool people to see around. Still, I'll see you later, and wish you the best of luck.

You were? How strange!
Ah, thank you. Maybe you will see me later. Not sure where, though.
I don't think I'll be posting in Youchew anymore.

So how is Youchew now? You say it's not the same as it once was?

[Crazy Luigi]

I was just thinking about you, actually! Trust me when I say that I haven't forgotten about you. I can see how this place hasn't really been the same as it was beforehand, but it has also given some fun times and cool people to see around. Still, I'll see you later, and wish you the best of luck.

You were? How strange!
Ah, thank you. Maybe you will see me later. Not sure where, though.
I don't think I'll be posting in Youchew anymore.

So how is Youchew now? You say it's not the same as it once was?

Well, I have certainly seen members that I thought I've trusted leave with either hateful feelings (Silverstreak and PoJ comes to mind) or just disappear altogether (punctualjinx). Personally, I can see how the older I become, the tougher it is to even want to stay here. Maybe it should be a sign that we should all take a little break from here someday.

On the plus side, I did get a promotion and I think you could enjoy some of our newer members like SauceBoss & TargetDog12, so not everything's been terrible along the way.

[JazzDanceForChildren]

I haven't read the full post but I remember your situation. Good luck, hope things ultimately work out for you and your family.

[Axe]

Wow, that's quite the story you got there. Hope everything turns out okay for you and your family.

Godspeed!

[kingplatypus]

At least your reason for leaving is very reasonable, unlike the last few who've left.

You're situation is very sad, I really hope things go good for you in the future. Good luck out there!

[Whelt]

The name change threw me off but I remember now that you're Demanga, and I remember the last time you were close to moving out of the US. It's really a shame that you can't stay with us, and I wish the best for you.

[Matias]

I was just thinking about you, actually! Trust me when I say that I haven't forgotten about you. I can see how this place hasn't really been the same as it was beforehand, but it has also given some fun times and cool people to see around. Still, I'll see you later, and wish you the best of luck.

You were? How strange!
Ah, thank you. Maybe you will see me later. Not sure where, though.
I don't think I'll be posting in Youchew anymore.

So how is Youchew now? You say it's not the same as it once was?

Well, I have certainly seen members that I thought I've trusted leave with either hateful feelings (Silverstreak and PoJ comes to mind) or just disappear altogether (punctualjinx). Personally, I can see how the older I become, the tougher it is to even want to stay here. Maybe it should be a sign that we should all take a little break from here someday.

On the plus side, I did get a promotion and I think you could enjoy some of our newer members like SauceBoss & TargetDog12, so not everything's been terrible along the way.

Ooh, yeah. I snagged a peek at some of the other goodbye threads here. Sheesh, I wouldn't expect Youchew to have this level of drama.

I understand how you feel about taking a break. This site's atmosphere can be quite intoxicating after a while, at least for me. It's, like, the same, everyday. I need a place with some variety, y'know?

I haven't read the full post but I remember your situation. Good luck, hope things ultimately work out for you and your family.

Thanks, Jazzdance. I've learned a lot from you, if you don't mind me saying. I'm sure I'll be alright, as long as I've got other people to share life with.

Wow, that's quite the story you got there. Hope everything turns out okay for you and your family.

Godspeed!

Thanks, Axe! I actually plan to move to Canada as soon as possible. I've had a lot of good friends move to the Toronto area. One of them I used to make home movies with, and he wants me to co-direct his films. He's a star pupil in his film school, so I think he'll be successful without me, heheh.
Yeah, I have options, I suppose.

At least your reason for leaving is very reasonable, unlike the last few who've left.

You're situation is very sad, I really hope things go good for you in the future. Good luck out there!

Yeah, yeah. It's a shame that people are leaving in such a huff.

Oh, thanks for the sympathy. I'll do my best!

[SauceBoss]

I had gotten quite used to you in my short time here before you left. I certainly didnt forget you. Your story was a fantastic read, and I certainly wish you the very best in life. Weve had a few go from this site in the past dew days, and they managed to shake up the community when they did.

You on the other hand, are a different story. This is a sweet, terrific goodbye, and I think it will have the exact opposite effect that the others did. It sounds like youve accomplished a lot recently, and I certainly envy that. So with that said,

"May the road rise up to meet you, may the wind be ever at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face and the rain fall softly on your fields. And until we meet again, May God hold you in the hollow of his hand." Goodbye, Matias.

[Matias]

The name change threw me off but I remember now that you're Demanga, and I remember the last time you were close to moving out of the US. It's really a shame that you can't stay with us, and I wish the best for you.

Ahh, I'm sorry. I simply don't feel comfortable here, it's just not my cup of tea.
Thanks, Whelt. I wish the best for you too!

[Gary]

That's a hell of a goodbye, son.

I don't recall talking to you much, if at all, but I definitely have a hell of a lot of respect for you now.

Take care of yourself brother.

P.S. You'll like to know that I'm a sappy fuck like yourself who enjoys talking about the big picture; life, etc, so if you're ever in the hood, hit me up and we can solve all the world's problems.

Later, hoss.

[Crazy Luigi]

I had gotten quite used to you in my short time here before you left. I certainly didnt forget you. Your story was a fantastic read, and I certainly wish you the very best in life. Weve had a few go from this site in the past dew days, and they managed to shake up the community when they did.

You on the other hand, are a different story. This is a sweet, terrific goodbye, and I think it will have the exact opposite effect that the others did. It sounds like youve accomplished a lot recently, and I certainly envy that. So with that said,

"May the road rise up to meet you, may the wind be ever at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face and the rain fall softly on your fields. And until we meet again, May God hold you in the hollow of his hand." Goodbye, Matias.

It's... it's so beautiful. ;~;

I was just thinking about you, actually! Trust me when I say that I haven't forgotten about you. I can see how this place hasn't really been the same as it was beforehand, but it has also given some fun times and cool people to see around. Still, I'll see you later, and wish you the best of luck.

You were? How strange!
Ah, thank you. Maybe you will see me later. Not sure where, though.
I don't think I'll be posting in Youchew anymore.

So how is Youchew now? You say it's not the same as it once was?

Well, I have certainly seen members that I thought I've trusted leave with either hateful feelings (Silverstreak and PoJ comes to mind) or just disappear altogether (punctualjinx). Personally, I can see how the older I become, the tougher it is to even want to stay here. Maybe it should be a sign that we should all take a little break from here someday.

On the plus side, I did get a promotion and I think you could enjoy some of our newer members like SauceBoss & TargetDog12, so not everything's been terrible along the way.

Ooh, yeah. I snagged a peek at some of the other goodbye threads here. Sheesh, I wouldn't expect Youchew to have this level of drama.

I understand how you feel about taking a break. This site's atmosphere can be quite intoxicating after a while, at least for me. It's, like, the same, everyday. I need a place with some variety, y'know?

You should've seen the most recent page in the off-topic page. That kind of shit kind of shows what I mean with that kind of crap.

[Matias]

I had gotten quite used to you in my short time here before you left. I certainly didnt forget you. Your story was a fantastic read, and I certainly wish you the very best in life. Weve had a few go from this site in the past dew days, and they managed to shake up the community when they did.

You on the other hand, are a different story. This is a sweet, terrific goodbye, and I think it will have the exact opposite effect that the others did. It sounds like youve accomplished a lot recently, and I certainly envy that. So with that said,

"May the road rise up to meet you, may the wind be ever at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face and the rain fall softly on your fields. And until we meet again, May God hold you in the hollow of his hand." Goodbye, Matias.

You really didn't forget me? I'm afraid I don't remember who you are. Have you changed your name at some point? Nevertheless, that's kind of you to say. I'm sorry you guys have had a rough time! I hope my goodbye will somehow help the situation, whatever the issue is.

Heheh, I sure have changed. I won't take complete credit for it, though. A lot of it was thanks to a certain Youchew member. Probably my best friend ever, ironically.

Goodbye, SauceBoss. Have a good time.

[SauceBoss]

You were active when I first got started, a regular as far as I knew. Nonetheless, you have a good time too.

[Spiral]

I'm sorry to hear you've had to deal with all of this. Although it's been a long time since we've really been close in contact, I wish you the absolute best of luck going forward.

[Matias]

You were active when I first got started, a regular as far as I knew. Nonetheless, you have a good time too.

Sorry if I forgot you, buddy. I'm sure you can understand.

That's a hell of a goodbye, son.

I don't recall talking to you much, if at all, but I definitely have a hell of a lot of respect for you now.

Take care of yourself brother.

P.S. You'll like to know that I'm a sappy fuck like yourself who enjoys talking about the big picture; life, etc, so if you're ever in the hood, hit me up and we can solve all the world's problems.

Later, hoss.

Gary? As in, GaryBusey? Well, if that's you, then perhaps the name Demanga might ring a bell. I think we've certainly talked a good amount in my time here. Maybe not as much as you might have talked with others, though, heheh. In that case, we haven't talked much.

Thanks man, I appreciate the kind compliments - and, you know, I just might! No promises, but I'll try to remember. I'm not a great philosopher, but I sure like sharing life, emotions, and all that other sappy junk!

Well, you take care of yourself too c:

I'm sorry to hear you've had to deal with all of this. Although it's been a long time since we've really been close in contact, I wish you the absolute best of luck going forward.

Many thanks, Spiralweirdo. It's alright, we'll be fine. This experience has turned my life around for the better in the most unexpected of ways, so I'm not too sorry about it myself. I appreciate the care all the same.

[Wasted]

I'm all too familiar with culture shock and such... Best wishes, man. I've always appreciated those interested in things other than video games and various media, so it's a shame to see you leave. So farewell, then.

[GangStarRunner]

I didn't forget you. I hoped you'd post some time. Well, good luck.

[Gary]

holy fuck it's Demanga

i forgot you got the name change

well now my world is all kinds of twisted

well regardless, i do hope to see you back at some point