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I was about to make a Casablanca joke... then I found out it was about Casablanca.

And most of them are one-shots from Ilsa's POV or events concerning Rick and Captain Renault after Ilsa and Victor leave.

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k that's enough get back to the cartoon slashes and childhood icons killing people

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Homework, homework, oh how I can’t wait to be done! Anyways, here’s chapter 2, fair warning: this contains tentacle… err, tendril, interfacing. You have been warned. No complaining. I put the M rating up there for a reason.

Ok!!! Sorry…sugar rush. I need a nap. And to get those dang tickets for the 12:01 showing of Transformers Revenge of the Fallen. I will continue to update as it comes to me.

TC and Skywarp are appearing soon… oh and thank you to all the reviewers (cybercupcakes to reviewers) So read and review, I like constructive criticism. Oh and I don’t own Transformers, if I did… we’d be so screwed… but loving it!

…I’m taking Starscream with me to the movies. He will be sleeping in my purse…backpack…thingy.

Starscream clenched his talons in disgust. This being may have been the force behind the Decepticon army, but Starscream wasn’t about to let him just treat him like a toy.

The fallen one’s tendrils slipped further up Starscream’s chassis, approaching his waist while continuing the overly invasive movements that riddled his body. Starscream was getting angry, mostly from the movements of the tendrils and the subtle fact that he had never consented to this treatment… even if he did, it wouldn’t have been with this…being that had been trapped for who knows how long in some primus forsaken crypt. Even though Megatron was gone, Starscream’s spark belonged to him and only him. He had a small part reserved for his trine, but that was brotherly love, not bonded love. Not interfacing love.

The fallen one’s next movement ripped him out of his thoughts when he slipped a rather naughty tendril between his thighs, caressing his interfacing panel sensually. Starscream gave a small grunt of reluctance in an attempt to stop the mottled tendril from caressing him anywhere.

“I was not joking when I said you had to surrender to me entirely. Most of the time, I would have accepted just a vow of loyalty and an example of how far they were willing to go to do my bidding… as your Megatron proved so thoroughly. You on the other hand…are too attractive to just let slip through my digits.” The fallen one’s tendrils suddenly tightened their hold on Starscream’s chassis, acting like pythons on a potential meal. They held Starscream in place, then gently pushed him further onto the ground so that both knees were touching the floor of the chamber. Starscream tried to pull away, grunting and attempting to wriggle his way free. This had just gone too far for his taste. The fallen one only chuckled darkly at the former Air Commander.

“You are quite the fighter aren’t you? Megatron was right about you… you are a one in a million catch. The Red Meteor of Vos… Starscream… the fastest flier on Cybertron. Such a body should not go to waste… especially mourning the loss of his former Commander. Why do you still resist me? Is there another?” The fallen one’s tendrils seized up, placing more pressure on Starscream’s body. The fallen one wanted an answer and wanted it now. Starscream gave a small, sarcastic chuckle.

“Yes… there is another…and even though he may be dead, my spark belongs to Megatron alone. Do your worst… but I’m afraid you are too late for claiming this little tainted spark.” Starscream said, sarcasm dripping off his words. The fallen one’s aura suddenly went dark red, then calmed to a gentle purple-blue. Starscream sensed he was in trouble. The fallen one laughed darkly, then allowed the maniacal laughter to get a little louder, as well as his aura growing persistently more red .

“You were not claimed! I took Megatron eons before you were even formed in your creators synthesizing unit! He was under my control long before you knew of him!” The fallen one allowed more tendrils to form out of his light, some of which moved towards Starscream’s facial plating, the rest of which slid towards his interfacing plating. The lower tendrils forced Starscream’s legs apart while the higher tendrils pulled the seeker into a tilted, almost sitting position… where the fallen one could see every inch of his interfacing plating for the time being. A tendril slid down to the seeker’s interfacing plating, caressing the exposed area since the rest were restraining the seeker. Starscream clenched his dental plating and tried to shut his legs, even though he had been fighting back since the moment that the tendrils had grabbed him so roughly. The tendril slid into a seem between the plating and overrode the firewalls that kept his plating tightly secured to his body. Starscream let out a surprised moan, not anywhere near pleasurable. The fallen one’s tendril observed his interfacing port for a second… then the fallen one laughed.

“Just as I thought! You are untouched! (1)I believe your spark chamber will be as unscathed as your interfacing port… are you going to cooperate, or do I have to take the same measures to see if I am correct?” The fallen one let one higher tendril loose to give the seeker’s chest plating a little caress. Starscream bared his dental plating at the fallen one…but then gave a small, defeated look. He didn’t want his spark chamber forced open… but this being wasn’t going to let him leave with his virginity intact. He was saving that for Megatron… but if it meant either getting raped or making it out in one piece… he would have to consent to this monster. He looked up at the fallen one, crestfallen.

“I… I give…” The fallen one’s aura changed to a more pink or red color… passion. He allowed the tendrils restraining Starscream’s right arm to relax. The seeker took the gesture as a sign and reached for his spark chamber, opening it gently and keeping his hand close to it for protection. Never let someone have a chance at attacking your spark… you would die if it hit you directly. So exposing his essence to this...being, was a risk. He felt so used... and filthy just thinking about it.

“I was right…” The fallen one chuckled. “You are as pure and untouched as a protoform. So, dear Starscream, what do you say to your new leader?” Starscream tried to muster a glare, but gave into the facts that this was not going to end well. “Well? Do you surrender to me, Starscream?” Starscream hung his head for a second…

“I surrender to you…my liege. I am yours…entirely.” The last part left a sore feeling on the tip of his tongue. The fallen one’s aura turned bright, earth sky blue. A few of the higher tendrils ran their way up to Starscream’s neck and facial plating, roughly caressing and probing his mouth components.

“You are a seeker… if I am correct and my memory serves me well…seekers are breeders. All seekers are mechs (2)… so that must mean you are capable of carrying.” The fallen one whispered to the restrained and struggling seeker. The tendrils found some points of sensitive circuitry under his battle strengthened armor. Starscream was getting more aroused by the moment as the tendrils worked their way around his armor. The most invasive ones were focusing around his interfacing port, while the softest ones caressed the area around his spark chamber, easing their way into his most sensitive area. The strongest ones were either restraining him or playing with his wings. Starscream gave a small growl at the fallen one’s comment. The glare that accompanied it was the fallen one’s answer. The fallen one released his demented laugh once again.

“So, you are capable! How interesting…” The tendrils around his port began sliding up and down his gear, while a higher tendril managed to stuff itself into Starscream’s mouth- further muffling him. The fallen one chortled again. Starscream felt a large, differently shaped tendril make its way towards his port… oh no, this was it. The fallen was going to take him, and there was nothing he could do to stop it. He felt it tease his port, since he was unable to look down courtesy of the tendrils that restrained his head. It was pressed against his port, ready and waiting for something.

“Now now… don’t tense up. It will make it worse.” The fallen one teased. Starscream glared at him, only to be restrained further by the tendrils as they pulled his legs apart further to accommodate the new arrival. Judging from how far they had pulled him… this one was huge.

“Are you ready, little Air Commander?” The fallen one teased yet again…his laughter echoed this time… as he pushed it in. “Don’t scream! Or better yet… do.”

Starscream lived up to his named, giving as much of a scream as he could muster through the tendril shoved into his mouth. The large, warm tendril that pushed its way through Starscream’s virgin port was too big… it felt like it was tearing and forcing its way into him. The fallen one pulled it back out, just to take a look.

“Aw, it seems like it popped… such a cute little virgin. Well…not anymore.” The fallen one jested, slowly moving the tendril back into Starscream, who now felt like crying. He never cried. Not since he was a sparkling. However, this was different. The tendril moved its way back inside the newly broken port and began to move slowly. This was Starscream’s first time after all. He didn’t want to overdo it. A traumatized seeker was an unstable being any way you looked at it. That wouldn’t do for a new Decepticon Commander…or a decent berth slave. Starscream began to give an unwilling shiver as the tendril was pushed inside his port to the hilt.

“I have to admit, you are much better than Megatron…though to be fair, I never interfaced with him… he just followed orders.” (3) The fallen one’s tendril began to speed up, causing Starscream to moan in pain…and a little bit of pleasure. The pace quicken and Starscream began to moan more, pleasurable sounds echoing from the walls of the chamber as the fallen one took his new Decepticon Commander. The pleasure was intensifying, and the fallen was about to come. Starscream gave a very lovely yelp as the fallen one pumped his port with the tendril, the quivering circuitry causing the fallen to finally erupt inside his new Decepticon Commander. Starscream felt the light headedness take over his circuitry, and began to slip into darkness as he heard the last thing the fallen one had said to him. He could feel the oil and lubricants flowing from various orifaces of his body... down his legs from his port and down his facial plating from his optics.

“Wonderful… Lord Starscream…Leader of the Decepticon Army.”

Then the peacefulness of recharge hit him.

The fallen one pulled the various tendrils back into his calm, sated light. He only left two strong tendrils to pull the former Air Commander towards him. He placed Starscream on his left side, then allowed the seekers form to slide onto his back. He gave the recharging seeker a single caress on his helm, the grabbed one of the blankets used for decor to cover his new Commander… and berth mate. (4)

Blooper!!!- Soundwave meets the rock

Soundwave walks past the recently returned ship. He notices a single rock lying on the walkway in front of him. He picks it up, only to drop it. The rock just bit him!

Wait…rocks don’t bite.

He places the ‘rock’ into his storage compartment. He will analyze this rock later. Ravage on the other hand is also in the storage compartment… and was observing the ‘rock’ with his paws and tail.

Fifteen minutes later, Soundwave can be heard being dragged from the base by a very sore and upset Ravage who has the ‘rock’ on his tail and Soundwave’s wiring caught in his front chest plating.

Ok, so that was …intense. Or about as good as I can write hot scenes. I might go back later and redo it…with help. XD

Seriously, I wanted to get this out before Revenge of the Fallen hit the silver screen for the public.

(1)Yes… I made him a virgin. Why?... He seems too high strung to play submission for anyone but Megatron. However, Megatron is (was) a little busy and couldn’t take his time to notice Screamers romantic interventions. His loss…and apparently Screamers misfortune. :O

(2)This is just for this story. If you want the back story…uhhh- ok, the femme seekers were killed during the war. Like a lot of femmes and sparklings. Just go with it.

(3)No, the fallen didn’t take Megatron. Why?... guess he wasn’t attracted to him enough. And Starscream is quite a catch… really, if you had the power to command a hottie like Screamer to be yours, would you pass it up? Answer in reviews please!!! Lulz… no seriously, review please. I need to know if I blew something or not.

(4)Ok, just to make sure everyone knows, Screamers spark remains untouched. So they are not bonded. And the fallen is the embodiment of evil… taking poor screamer like that! (Starscream looks at her…and glares…) Don’t blame me screamer… you are hot. You are jailbait. I have no idea how old you are, but all the other mechs are older (at least they seem so) and that makes you, Bee and Barricade jailbait.

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For being on the Vanilla forums for 277 days before it was shut down

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Sonichu: Unexpected Developments

A Sonichu fanfiction by Protodude

DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own any of the characters portrayed within this story. This is an unauthorised story written by a fan for fun, in tribute to a creative universe greatly enjoyed by myself and, I’m sure, many others. You can read all about Sonichu and check out his adventures in his comic book at the official Sonichu website. I think this may be the first Sonichu story on FF dot net, but I certainly hope it’s not the last and that others may be inspired to write in this great creative universe. Enjoy!

Things weren’t looking good. Slaweel Ryam the Witch had launched a surprise attack. Her regrouped Jerkop army had taken Chris-chan and his friends by surprise. Stronger than they had ever been before, they subdued Sonichu and knocked Nicole, who was back in CWCVille for a visit, unconscious. Worst of all, in the initial confusion, they had taken possession of the Sonichu Medallion that allowed the young love warrior’s transformation into the blue Chris-chan Sonichu so he wasn’t even able to fight back.

Scanning the battlefield, Chris looked for something, anything, which could help in the battle. Suddenly, he saw it! During the first attack, when Nicole was knocked out, her Lightning Bracelets had come loose and fallen off, and were now lying a short distance from him. He wasn’t sure what would happen when he used them. He wasn’t sure IF anything would happen. But he had no choice; the situation had become too dire, and there lay his only hope.

Leaping and sliding across the floor, Chris grabbed them and fixed a lavender, lightning-bolt emblazoned bracelet to each wrist. Climbing to his feet, he held his arms in front of him and crossed the bracelets. He took a deep breath.

“Well, here goes nothing,” he gulped. “Graceful Lightning!”

A glow filled the air as the familiar sensation of the change overtook him. But as it progressed, he began to notice that things were different to when he used his Sonichu Medallion. He always shrank when becoming the Chris-chan Sonichu, but it seemed that he was a little smaller than even then. As his body filled with the pulsating power of an electric hedgehog Pokemon, he felt something tying the freshly-grown quills on his head in to place. Two bumps grew on his chest, and a vest materialised to cover them, preserving his modesty. He didn’t check, but he knew there were other anatomical differences now too. Something clattered at his feet.

“Ah, Saramah’s Lightning Bow!” he said, picking it up. He glanced over at Slaweel Ryam and her army of Jerkops, who had temporarily halted their advance to watch his transformation in interest.

“Get him… her… it!” she ordered.

“Yes, Ma’am!” the Jerkops chorused and began their charge.

Chris found that, by willing it, an electric-charged, lighting-bolt shaped arrow appeared in his hand. Pulling the bow back, he took aim and released, taking out a row of the Jerkops. The front row were getting a bit close for comfort, so he took a swing with his new, longer tail, taking them out with a Tail Whip. Curling into a ball, he unleashed a Spindash that knocked the remaining Jerkops over liking bowling pins. He dashed towards Slaweel Ryam.

“I normally would NEVER hit a woman,” he said, “But I think it’ll be okay just this once, considering the circumstances!” Pulling his arm back, he focused a charge of electric energy into his fist and unleashed a Thunder Punch, sending her flying into the distance. All that remained now were the guards holding Sonichu.

“Have you been watching what’s been going on over there?” he approached them.

They nodded in reply.

“You wouldn’t want any of that to happen to YOU, would you? I certainly wouldn’t savour having to DO it.”

They shook their heads.

“Then go. Leave us alone and don’t come back.”

Before Chris’s sentence had even been finished, the remaining Jerkops had fled the scene as fast as their legs would carry them. Chris could easily catch them, but he’d fought enough today and now it was time to see to his friends.

“Huh? Who’re you?” Sonichu asked as Chris approached him. “A Rosechu?”

“Ah, you’re alright!” Chris smiled. “Then come help me with Nicole.”

The two electric-hedgehog Pokemon walked to the unconscious body of their friend and knelt down beside her. Chris took her shoulders and gently shook her.

“Nicole,” he said. “Wake up, Nicole.”

“Ugh. Chris?” she responded, groggily. “Chris, is that you? Your voice is different. Softer.”

She opened here eyes and looked at who had saved her.

“You became a Rosechu!” she exclaimed. “Is that really you?”

“Yeah. Sorry, but I had to borrow your Lightning Bracelets. There wasn’t any other choice. But all that’s done now. You can have them back!” He crossed the bracelets again to initiate the change back.

As the changes subsided, Chris realised something was wrong. His hair was longer than it usually was, and it was tied back like it had been when he was a Rosechu. He could still feel the foreign weights on his chest, and while he was still taller than Nicole, it wasn’t by nearly as much as he had been before.

“You’re still a girl!” Nicole said. “C’mon, let’s go to the Fashion Square Mall. The stripes still suit you, but you could do so much better. Let’s go clothes shopping; it’ll be so much fun!”

“Father! Er… mother. Uh…” Sonichu said, uncertainly. “I found this lying over there, whoever had it must have dropped it in the commotion. I thought you’d want it back.”

“Thank you very much,” Chris said, taking his Medallion from Sonichu. “Boy or girl, this Medallion is still a fashionable accessory for me.”

Nicole put her bracelets back on and transformed. She and Sonichu both watched as Chris grasped the Medallion, called the “Electric Hedgehog Pokemon!” phrase, and transformed. Before them stood the same creature that had battled for them earlier.

“So, I guess that settles it then. I’m Chris-chan Rosechu.” She said.

Together, the three friends set off for the mall.

Later that afternoon, Chris-chan sat in the McDonalds, eating eight chicken nuggets. What a strange day it had been! The shopping with Nicole had been fun, though. Her friend had picked out some outfits for the new girl that, she had to admit, were pretty cute. She had never felt closer to her friend than she did today. Then, a young man approached her.

“Uh, excuse me,” he said, “But I couldn’t help but notice you across the restaurant. Would you like to, um, maybe go on a date with me some time?”

She pondered this for a minute. She hadn’t liked boys when she was one, but things were different now. She had always been straight, and she still was; it was the way to be. She couldn’t exactly get a boyfriend-free girl like this! Looking at the boy, she noticed he was kind of handsome, and his nervousness was so cute.

“Okay,” she said, “I’d really like that.”

“Great! How’s tonight?” he asked.

The two of them exchanged phone numbers and worked out the details. Finishing her chicken nuggets, she got to her feet and headed for home to get ready for her date that evening. As she walked, Christine W. Chandler smiled to herself. Wherever he was, Sonichu was smiling with her. At long last, the love-quest was over.

END

Oh, Doctor Ivo Robotnik. You evil genius, you. You always try to best Sonic the Hedgehog, but end up failing.

Do I see a lack of faith, or are you just down right hilariously bad at being a bad guy?

You steal candy from over nine thousand babies. Bu yet you are easily beaten by two creatures who could qualify as babies.

You have three idiotic nincombots, the two of which are the goofiest pairings ever ( a strange drill and a tall chicken pairing, anyone)? And you even demoted your monkey robot to third class!

...Speaking of which, you like to give yourselves prrrrromotions every now and then, even though you do absolutely nothing to stop Sonic.

And speaking of which, if you HATE THAT HEDGEHOG so much, then why don't you invent, oh, I don't know, a scientific experiment that actually kills Sonic and Tails!? But right, you are the good dictator.

Oh, Dr. Robotnik, or rather, RoBUTTnik as Sonic would say. You always strive so much to CONQUER Mobius, yet you say that you have plans, detailing them with with your phrase "Tomorrow, I'lll..."

And did you actually invent those blueprints? Or did you lie and smuggled them under your hideous orange moustache?

You truly are a one-of-a-kind, Dr. Robotnik. And I hope that you wouldn't be minding if I was snooping as usual.

Signed, with LOVE,

Wes Weasly

PS: Ha ha ha! I really tricked you, huh old palsy? Now I get to get all the money for making a love letter, to you! Hehehehehe!

"..." Dr. Robotnik was shaking as he teared the letter in his hands, his mouth foaming.

Scratch, grounder, and Coconuts panicked as they all backed away. Unfortunately, the three robots were not to escape the rage of Robotnik.

"NO ONE SOILS MY GOOD NAME AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!!!!!" Robotnik bellowed as he literally destroyed his own secret laboratory out of anger and rage, why Wes Weasly was somewhere in the tropics of Mobius, laughing his head off as he dove into a poll of money.

THE END

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oh wait lol

I underestimate the internet

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oh god this thread is amazing

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WARNING: VERY GRAPHIC

Ignorance

K'nuckles was in his own little world, light headed and had a surreal feeling about him one particular day. It wasn't any ordinary day, other than the constant need for sugar and alcohol and no money to spare for it. Nay, the sun was out, and it was hot on Stormalong harbour, leaving its civilians sweaty and uncomfortable. Usually Stormalong was supposed to be... well... stormy. But no, for one day, it was a searing ninety degrees and Cap'n K'nuckles felt as if he had done illegal drugs. The man felt as if he wasn't really their, like he was synthetic and non-existent. Something about today was just too weird. The only thing keeping the cobalt haired man from in high spirits was one of his only friends, Flapjack. The blonde was prancing around the lower docks of Stormalong slashing and playing in the water to keep himself cooled off. of course, he had to torture the older man by stripping down to nothing but his blue trousers and revealing his flawless pale chest, his wavy blonde hair barley licking his soft as silk shoulders every time he hunched over a dock, his bright blue eyes marveling at the water. K'nuckles thought Flapjack was just adorable, even with how annoying he could be at times. With Bubby keeping a sharp eye on Flapjack to make sure the cute ten year old didn't fall and drown, the Captain sat back on the lower docks, watching with a bottle of rum in hand. Bubby, after arguing with the tanned skin captain for an hour about how drinking in front of Flapjack was a bad example, looked disgruntled and tired, the water was warmer than she liked it today, and the two males weren't helping at all with her stress. After hours of hearing Flapjack whine to K'nuckles about being bored, only to return to the water while K'nuckles whispered sailor swears under his breath, the sky blue whale grew frustrated beyond belief.

"Hey! Why don't you two go to the Candy Barrel? I'll give you both enough money for two Candy Mugs if you leave me alone!" K'nuckles and Flapjack blinked, both awestricken, at the whale. She barley ever had acted like this before, and only when she was distressed did she act upon impulse and yell at the two.

"You've got money?" K'nuckles instantly turned his attention towards what the whale had said about money, since whenever he needed it, it wasn't there.

"Yes I've got money!" Bubby reached into her mouth to pull out a small green bag full of coins and throw it in the direction of a cobalt haired head. Having the bag his right on target, K'nuckles whined and pulled his hat off to rub where it had grown sore from the impact. Flapjack pulled his red and white striped shirt over his head before bending over to retrieve the green bag.

"You alright, Cap'n?" The sweet blonde asked, receiving a disgruntled groan from the older man. Bubby turned around and dove beneath the water, searching for colder depths.

Once the pain had subsided from K'nuckles head, the two began heading for the Candy Barrel, talking excitedly about what they wanted to get while they were there.

Peppermint Larry greeted his two rarely paying customers with his usual lipless smile, cheeks round and red. Flapjack, always enthusiastic about everything, ran up and greeted the store clerk.

"Howdy Peppermint Larry! How's business?" He asked, seating himself upon a red pillowed stool. The man sighed and ran a hand through his slicked back hair.

"It's okay, I guess. I mean, the economy is really bad right now and I barley have any customers anymore, but of course someone of your youth wouldn't really know what economy even means," The brunette gave Flapjack a look as he shook his blonde head, yellow locks of wavy hair hitting the sides of his face as he did so.

"Nupe! I have noooo idea what you're talking about! But I'm guessing it's bad," The boy smiled and gave Larry a sweet fluttering of eyelashes. Just then, K'nuckles cleared his throat to gain some attention. As Larry turned his focus onto K'nuckles, the captain pulled out the green bag of money from his pocket.

"Well today is your lucky day, my man, because I, being an adult, know what you're talking about, and I'm willing to fix that problem," K'nuckles opened the small bag with stiff fingers. The surgery done to him long ago was still affecting his prosthetic bones. After much struggle, the sides of the bag fell to reveal a small pile of gold coins stacked in a mess. Peppermint Larry's eyes lit up, and he was quick to smile and give all his attention to his customers.

"Great! So what can I get you two?" The brunette asked enthusiastically. K'nuckles first glanced to Flapjack and for once in his life, gestured with his hands for Flapjack to order first.

"Really Cap'n?" Flapjack asked in astonishment, causing annoyance to flood over the generosity in K'nuckles heart.

"Yes really, now hurry up and order before I change my mind," The captain urged. Flapjack skimmed his choices on the shelves behind the eager store clerk and his eyes fell on a small cup of an assortment of sweets. Flapjack pointed at it and asked demanded he have it, followed by a polite "Please". Peppermint Larry nodded and gave it to the young boy, K'nuckles handing over the payment before telling the store clerk what he wanted. Larry nodded and obediently retrieved exactly what K'nuckles pleased for.

"Thank you, Peppermint Larry!" Flapjack's nasally cute voice rang in K'nuckles ears. Damn that boy, he needed to learn to be sterner.

Popping a lemon flavoured hard candy into his mouth from the cup of assortments, Flapjack smiled at K'nuckles, who was left blushing after Flapjack returned his gaze on his candy. Why he blushed, the man did not know, but he could admit that more than once in his life he had had sexual thoughts about the young lad. He was also highly convinced that every man Flapjack came in contact with wanted to take advantage of the petite little boy as well, so it would be normal to have thoughts like that over such a girly boy. But blushing over something as simple as a smile... Maybe it was just the weird feeling in his head today, he guessed. To bad he guessed wrong, and it wasn't that at all. He tried to finish the sugar coated luxury in front of him in a state of anything less awkward, but couldn't. He sat there, flustered and embarrassed. That boy was too cute for his own good.

"I need a drink," K'nuckles moaned as he sat up from his empty cup that was once occupied with candy.

"But Cap'n, I'm not done yet," Flapjack pouted, a few caramel candies in his mouth and a liquorish in his hand. The cobalt haired man sighed, taking off his hat once more to rub his head, which this time hurt because of a growing headache.

"Come on, you can take it with us," at that, the captain left with a fast stride, Flapjack trying to shovel candy in his pockets and mouth and run after his captain all at once.

The disgruntled captain made a beeline to the liquor store, Flapjack sticking his soft pink lower lip in a pout that he the liquor store was the only place he couldn't follow his role model. Some role model...

"Do you really need to-?"

"Yes," The captain cut off what Flapjack was going to say before he said it, approaching the store he favoured oh so much. Flapjack crossed his small arms, not happy with what his captain was doing.

"Why do you always have to-?"

"Because it makes me feel better! Now leave me be!" At that, K'nuckles entered the store, leaving Flapjack to grow depressed outside the doors, heat causing him to pant slightly from his fast walk.

"Why is he always so mean about his beer?!" Flapjack felt small tears gather in his eyes. Alcohol was the one thing he couldn't share with the captain, and trust me; he wanted to share everything with him. He longed for the captain to be proud of him, acknowledge his efforts, praise him when he did something right, and say "I love you too" whenever the small blonde told his captain that he loved him, and not to be ignored with a grunt or "whatever". Some things that the captain did like ignore Flapjacks efforts tore the small boy in half sometimes, and more than once Flapjack had cried himself to sleep because his best friend had said nothing when Flapjack had done something right for once. K'nuckles was a sin, something that Flapjack shouldn't hang around, and Bubby was the best role model ever, yet Flapjack favoured his problem more than his supporter. He pleads for the one he couldn't have, the one that would never notice him, the one that Flapjack believed to hate him. It killed the boy on the inside.

As K’nuckles returned to the sweltering outside world, Flapjack tried to hide the sadness creeping its way into his heart from showing on his face. K'nuckles, seemingly already drunk from the high end whiskey he bought with Bubby's money, stumbled alongside Flapjack, who glared at the ground as they walked.

"Crap," K’nuckles swore when he remembered that Bubby wasn't going to be there when they returned.

"What is it Cap'n?" Flapjack asked cutely.

"We need a place to stay tonight, Bubby's tryin' to escape the heat, got any ideas, boy?" The captain asked and put Flapjack in an opportunity to please his captain. He looked around Stormalong, searching for any place they could stay. Upon spotting a small sailboat, he got an idea.

"What's the nearest island from Stormalong, K'nuckles?" He asked, looking up at his captain, who in his drunken state of mind was thinking.

"I think its Fruit Island, lad. Why?" The cobalt haired man asked. Flapjack grinned and pointed to the sailboat.

"We can sail out to Fruit Island and stay the night there!" K'nuckles nearly dropped his paper bag out liquor.

"That's a wondrous idea, Flap! Let's go get on that sailboat!" The pair broke out in a run, K'nuckles tripping over his feet slightly, for the sailboat.

"But Cap'n, it belongs to somebody else!" Flapjack yelled at the Captain, who bluntly ignored him. He was the one to reach the old wooden boat first and began untying it.

"We're just borrowing it, boy! If we return it without a scratch, nobody will ever know!" The man smiled as he finished removing the ropes from the boat. Flapjack shrugged it off and hopped it, and the two were off to Fruit Island.

It wasn't until sunset when the pair reached the island, and both were starving.

"What are we gonna eat for dinner, Cap'n?" Flapjack asked, looking around the island of trees and exotic plants.

"Uhh, fruit?" The Captain guessed stupidly.

"That's a great idea!" Flapjack shouted and grabbed the captain's stiff hand to lead him into the jungle of fruits. The young blonde seemed to favour a round purple fruit after trying many others, and decided to pick only those, leaving Captain K'nuckles with all the rest.

After the two were done eating, they walked around for a possible place to sleep.

"Hey Cap'n? Can we sleep under the stars on the beach? I mean..." Flapjack blushed, searching for a reason other than "It’s so romantic out there".

"Well, seeing as the weather's hotter that the flames of hell we can, since there's no chance of us freezing, let alone growing cold at all," Flapjack laughed and the pair headed for the beach.

"K'nuckies?" Flapjack asked once both were situated on the beach, K'nuckles lying on his side, Flapjack sitting cross-legged on a large branch of a palm tree that protected his rear from touching the sand.

"What?" K'nuckles harsh reply came, startling the young boy.

"I..." Flapjack really wanted to talk about why K'nuckles was never proud of him for anything he ever did. As soon as he was about to ask, a knot caught in his throat and it felt like he was going to cry.

"What is it, Flap?" K’nuckles watched as Flapjack's eyes grew glassy, sky blue turning pale blue with the moon that shone so brightly.

"I... I can't say it! You won't care!" Flapjack looked the other way, tears threatening to spill.

"You can tell Uncy K'nucky anything!" K'nuckles tried to soothe the boy with his "amazing" child skills.

"No I can't! You won't care, and it's really serious!" Flapjack looked back at K'nuckles, tears streaming down his face, shining and sparkling in the moonlit night.

"If it's that important that it's making you cry, of course I'll care!" K'nuckles was knocked out of his surreal feeling as nothing but worry took over him, for the first time, he was honestly worried about his young blonde friend, and not just wanting to know out of curiosity.

"You never care! About anything! If I do something to try to impress you, you won't even care!" Flapjack sobbed, looking away, and K'nuckles sat up, awestruck. He honestly never did listen when Flapjack silently called out for his attention, and it was all blowing up in front of his face, and right now, he felt like the biggest dick on the face of the Earth.

"I..." Captain K'nuckles didn't know what to say. He wanted to tell Flapjack he was sorry, but he couldn't if he never realized it until just now. He wanted to tell him that it was a lie, but it wasn't, he wanted to say it was okay, but he couldn't. He just couldn't, and he didn't know how to make the slightest amends to the blonde. "Flapjack," He tried again.

"I'm sorry!" Flapjack cried, bawling into his hands, "I'm sorry! I was being stupid!" He wiped his tears on the back of his hand, trying to force away the infernal signs of weakness.

"It's okay. I'm not mad at you," K'nuckles said, softly, marveling at how beautiful the boy was, even when he was crying, as if seeing him for the first time, "I'm mad at myself," Knuckles moved close to the small boy, their bodies growing close, "I'm so deeply mad at myself, because I was so ignorant of you," Knuckle's thin body touched Flapjacks, "You deserve better," K'nuckle's voice was a whisper in Flapjacks soft ear now, and the boy's tears were beginning to stop.

"R- Really?" Flapjack's small voice came, causing the older man to blush. His companion was so cute.

"Yes really. I realize now, that you do allot, and I'm too big of an ass to notice. I'm sorry, Flapjack. I owe you an apology," Knuckle's lips brushed the boy's ear, causing the blonde to shiver, somewhat lulled to calm after the storm.

"I love you, Captain," Flapjack said, still unaware how powerful those words were.

"I... I love you too, boy," Flapjack turned his head to face his captain and lay a small kiss on the man's slightly bearded chin. Suddenly, K'nuckles realized what he felt for the boy, love. He loved the boy.

Taking Flapjack's soft hand in his own stiff, wooden boned ones, K'nuckles kissed Flapjack back, but not on the cheek. Right on his tender lips. Flapjack's eyes shot open, blushing and his body straightened. He moaned slightly in surprise, confusing K’nuckles into thinking that the boy wanted a deeper kiss that was much more pleasurable.

"Flapjack," K'nuckles breathed after separating from the boy.

"Yes?" Flapjack answered, trying to steady himself after the shock.

"I want you to go along with everything I'm going to do next, okay? Just let me do everything, and when I tell you to do something, do it. After this, I'll never ignore you ever again," K'nuckles commanded. Flapjack nodded, eager to know what K'nuckles was planning to do. He didn't know what sex was, and didn't know any sex terms or anything that had to do with sex at all.

It wasn't the mixed signals that Flapjack gave K’nuckles; it was K'nuckles himself, wanting sex from the younger boy more than ever, now being the perfect time to do just that.

The older man began to shift himself in front of Flapjack to take off the boy's green bandana. The young blonde swallowed hard, nervous. He didn't want to ask questions though, so he kept his mouth shut and let the bandana fall in his lap. K'nuckles fingered the ends of Flapjack's thin shirt, readying to take it off the boy, who let him. The garment went over the blonde's head, taking his cap with it, and K'nuckles pressed on to take off Flapjack's pants. At this, Flapjack let out an unsure groan, which led on K'nuckles even more. He unbuttoned the infernal gament and ripped them down the boy's legs along with his underwear, leaving Flapjack completley naked in the pale moonlight. His alabaster skin, illuminated by the moon, grew hot with the warm night and flustered embarasment of being naked in front of his captain. He still, dare not ask why as K'nuckles climbed on top of the younger boy so he hunched over the skiny body. Their lips met once more, this time K'nuckle's tongue delve into the younger's mouth, causing him to whine in pleasure and surprise at the feeling of his captain's warm wet ligament inside of his mouth. Flapjack's naked malnourished body trembled beneath his captains. The roof of the smaller boy's mouth was licked upon by his captain's, including every other part of him mouth that the captain’s tongue could reach. Small whimpers of pleasure escaped the blonde's throat, followed by groaning so quite it was barley audible coming from the captain, whose hand was beginning to explore his captive's body. K'nuckle's hand ran over soft shoulders, a protruding collar bone, soft pink nipples, a rived ribcage, a soft tummy, and bony hips. Seeing Flapjack react to his nipples being touched, K'nuckles reached his hand back up to one of the erect nerves and pet one stiff finger over it. Flapjack let out a small whine of pleasure through the kiss he and K'nuckles were currently sharing. K'nuckles pet it again and again until Flapjack's body started to quiver from pleasure that was causing him to feel the weirdest of things. He was far from hitting puberty yet, so this wasn't even remotely relative to him in any way, he didn't even knew doing this sort of thing existed.

"Feel good, Flap?" K'nuckles panted after the kiss was broken, still toying with Flapjack's nipple, the boy nodding and moaning. That moaning turned to sharp cries and mewls as K'nuckles had placed his pair of lips on the boy's pert nipple, running his tongue along it and teasing it between teeth. Flapjack couldn't do anything, pleasure overridden his body and the only thing he knew was that it felt good. As K'nuckles sucked Flapjack's beautifully pink nipple, his hand once more traveled south. When Flapjack felt the older man's hand so close to his rather small penis, he grew nervous. Before K'nuckles had time to wrap a stiff hand around the boyhood, Flapjack let out protest.

"Please! Don't touch me there! Anywhere but there!" K'nuckles had to refrain from laughing. Flapjack was too cute. And despite his sad attempt at protesting, K'nuckles began to stroke the small prick, causing Flapjack to scream in pleasure. One of the man's bony digits finger's the tip of the boy's penis, eliciting more screams and cries of pleasure.

"You can scream louder if you want nobody's here," K'nuckles told Flapjack after he lifted his mouth off the boy's chest. Flapjack responded with a loud moan when K'nuckles continued his work. Flapjack saw more stars then there were in the clear night sky as K'nuckles began to massage the very tip of the small boy's manhood, the boy not even finding the correct amount of vocal expression to express what he felt. His throat squeaked as his back arched the muscles in his bony hips and thin thighs flexing. Teeth bit down on the boy's sensitive pink nipple, causing Flapjack to find his voice and scream. Breathing hard, the blonde brought his tongue to his lower lip, and like a dog he panted. K'nuckles forcefully pushed his finger hard in the tip of Flapjack's prick. The combination brought Flapjack to let out a distressed scream, more of a loud growl than a scream. The Captain's pants grew tighter, and soon he grew tired of foreplay, desperate for sex. He parted from Flapjack's chest and looked the boy in the eyes, grinning, impatient to feel the young virgin around him, all the while still toying with the head of the boy's cock. Flapjack could barley focus on K'nuckles through squinting eyes and upturned eyebrows.

"I'm gonna fuck you, and boy, is going to hurt," The cobalt haired man said through a husky voice. Flapjack didn't expect it to hurt, seeing as his captain would never purposely hurt him physically, so all he expected was it to merely sting. The boy nodded his blonde head, ready for whatever K'nuckles could do to him, at least what he thought K'nuckles was going to do to him.

The Captain took his hands off the young boy and scooted between his legs, which were now propped up on either side of K'nuckles bony hips. The man's gold eyes looked Flapjack's lower half over and in the light of the moon, found the tight ring of muscle that he was searching for, unexpectedly close to the boy's small sac, only inches of smooth skin from it, actually.

"Ready, Flap?" The blonde nodded and soon after felt a stiff boned finger violate his entrance. The boy winced, knowing that this feeling was weird; this new feeling that he was far from ready to experience. But, he put mighty trust and faith in his captain, and knew that this wouldn't hurt too badly.

The thrusting of the one finger grew faster, and as the young boy grew wet, it was easier to lubricate him, and the man stuck another finger inside of the boy. Flapjack let out a cry of pain, the rim of muscle stretching, his legs lifting to give K'nuckles better access that hopefully wouldn't hurt. K'nuckles two fingers pumped in and out of the boy's tight entrance, and soon Flapjack was used to the undying pain. Unfortunately for him though, there was one more to go. K'nuckles dove a third inside of the boy, and this time Flapjack screamed, his hole tearing and slightly bleeding.

"K'nuckles! I- It hurts!" He cried, reaching up and grabbing ahold of his captain's shoulders. K'nuckles looked down at him, somewhat annoyed that such small of a thing could hurt.

"Be brave, Flapjack, it will only hurt for a bit. If you let me do this for only a bit longer it will be over with," K'nuckles said, causing Flapjack to bite his lip and nod, trying not to show any signs of pain. On the outside, it hurt like hell, but on the inside, Flapjack would let his captain do this to him as much as he wanted if it brought them closer together.

When K'nuckles was done, he pulled his three fingers out and quickly took off his own jacket and shirt and pulled his pants down to his knees to reveal his frightningly hardened member. Flapjack tilted his head forward to look at the man between his legs. The cobalt haired man wrapped his hand around his prick and positioned himself right between the boy's legs. Once the head touched the entrance, K'nuckles gave a smile and pushed forward, trying his absolute hardest not to hurt the boy, who's legs were wrapped tightly around his captain's waist. Flapjack gave a sudden yelp, feeling his captain enter his tight virgin hole.

"K'nuckles!" Flapjack screamed the head all the way in.

"The key is t- to relax, boy," K'nuckles leant over Flapjack and thrust forward violently, Flapjack's wet hole taking in only half of his captain's penis. The blonde boy let out a distressed scream. K'nuckles clenched his teeth together; the young boy was too tight. The only way for this to work was to hurt the blonde, but that was the last thing K'nuckles wanted.

"I- It hurts!" Flapjack yelled between distressed groaning and heavy panting. His crystal blue eyes squeezed shut.

"Flap, look at me!" K'nuckles demanded, watching the young boy's face as his eyes squinted open, "It's going to be okay. Sure it will hurt, but Flapjack; this is what people do when they love each other!" A side of K'nuckles that no one had ever seen before. Love and caring, finally it wasn't all about himself. Flapjack nodded and mouthed an "I love you too" back to his captain, who thrusted further inside of him, tearing the small boy's asshole. Flapjack bit his lip, moaning in pain. "It's okay to scream, I know it hurts," K'nuckles said, pulling out slightly and pushing back in. A little more than half his penis was engulfed by Flapjack's tight ass.

"AAAHHNN!" Flapjack let his head fall back; his hands shooting up to tightly grab his captain's shoulders. K'nuckles repeated this motion, pulling out to the head and diving back in to the point of massive blood drawl, the ring of muscle around Flapjack's entrance ripping and stretching beyond belief. The boy's chest heaved, his throat hurt from the fresh round of screaming and crying brought by every new thrust. Once more did the man pull out and dive back in, hitting the boy's prostate. This time, half the screaming was out of raw pleasure.

"There!"

"What?"

"There! Right there! Hit it again!" Flapjack screamed, bucking his hips to lead K'nuckles to that one spot again. K'nuckles repeated what he did, but harder and faster, causing an unbelievable amount of pleasure to overwhelm the young boy. K'nuckles smiled, knowing what was happening. To avoid hurting Flapjack, he aimed for that one spot, faster and harder, shoving himself into it. Flapjack's grip on his captain's shoulders tightened nails digging into the tan flesh. His back arching and head tilted back, the boy whined and mewled in pure pleasure. K'nuckles fingers clawed at the large palm branch beneath them, Flapjack clenching around his cock. Both of them glistened in the adoring moonlight, sweat that covered them shining. Heavy breathing escaped both of their mouths, as well as loud moaning that seemed like it would never cease.

K'nuckles had to keep on reminding himself to go easy on the boy, not to hurt him, that he was in enough pain as is, but he couldn't go any gentler, the need to climax begging to be paid attention to.

Flapjack felt as if he were dying yet alive more than he had ever been in his entire life. His trusted captain fucked him into the beach floor, and it hurt, in fact it hurt so bad to convince him that the man didn't love him at all, but the immense pleasure reminded him that his captain was doing this because he loved him.

K'nuckles created a steady pace, fast and hard in and out. Of course, it was way too hard for Flapjack, but he withstood it. As long as it pleasured his captain. Flapjack screamed, notifying that pain and agony had grown to strong for pleasure to push away. K'nuckles leant over close to Flapjack, still keeping his tempo, and kissed the boy on the lips. The blonde wrapped his small arms around his captain's neck, pulling him closer. The two malnourished bodies moved together under the moon, the larger planting delicate kisses on the smaller boy's cheeks. Flapjack blinked away tears, trying not to be too moved by the touching moments he spent with his captain.

The feeling of Flapjack's walls tightly around him was too much, K'nuckles got closer to the boy and let out a loud groan, flexing his muscles and quickening his pace. Flapjack moaned in ecstasy, a feeling he was far from ready to feel. Suddenly, his captain dealt his last blow and shot his seed madly into the younger boy, who came on the impact of the older man's climax. The two stayed still, panting as they both finished their ending. K'nuckles sat up and pulled out of the younger boy and scooted back to view the damage done. It was better than he thought it would be minimal blood and cuts. Flapjack laid panting and crying in pain. The older looked at him with saddened eyes. But when a small smile appeared on the boy's lips and his eyes opened, K’nuckles let out a sigh.

"I love you, Cap'n..." Flapjack moaned and let his legs collapse. Obviously the aftershock was somewhat over, but there was still something left to do.

K'nuckles crawled next to Flapjack and reached out a hand to pet his soft blonde hair. And with the nicest voice, responded, "Love you too, boy". Flapjack sat up to face K'nuckles, who was much taller than him. Smiling, Flapjack crawled into K'nuckle's lap and wrapped his arms around the man's neck to kiss him softly on the lips. K'nuckles wrapped his own arms around the boy, coddling him in a loving embrace. He would've never guessed this is where he would be a day ago, sitting naked on the beach with a nude Flapjack in his arms. He liked it, and honored the fact that he could be special to such an adorable boy.

'If only I didn't take his innocence,' K'nuckles thought sadly. His smile faded as he looked down at Flapjack, who was currently yawning and cuddling himself into K'nuckle's bony chest. The cobalt haired man swallowed hard. He wished none of this had ever happened.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Yeah, I know, I'm a sickout. Go on and flame.

But I must say, there needs to be more of this pairing out there (to soothe my creepy pedophile needs). Yeah so this took a while to write. I kept on getting stuck... ___ And it didn't help that I was drunk while writing the first half. :( I also had to text like, five of my guy friends to find out if a ten year old boy could orgasm. I think I freaked them out. 0_o

Oh well. I don't need boys. :D See you in my next fic!

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WARNING: VERY GRAPHIC

Ignorance

K'nuckles was in his own little world, light headed and had a surreal feeling about him one particular day. It wasn't any ordinary day, other than the constant need for sugar and alcohol and no money to spare for it. Nay, the sun was out, and it was hot on Stormalong harbour, leaving its civilians sweaty and uncomfortable. Usually Stormalong was supposed to be... well... stormy. But no, for one day, it was a searing ninety degrees and Cap'n K'nuckles felt as if he had done illegal drugs. The man felt as if he wasn't really their, like he was synthetic and non-existent. Something about today was just too weird. The only thing keeping the cobalt haired man from in high spirits was one of his only friends, Flapjack. The blonde was prancing around the lower docks of Stormalong slashing and playing in the water to keep himself cooled off. of course, he had to torture the older man by stripping down to nothing but his blue trousers and revealing his flawless pale chest, his wavy blonde hair barley licking his soft as silk shoulders every time he hunched over a dock, his bright blue eyes marveling at the water. K'nuckles thought Flapjack was just adorable, even with how annoying he could be at times. With Bubby keeping a sharp eye on Flapjack to make sure the cute ten year old didn't fall and drown, the Captain sat back on the lower docks, watching with a bottle of rum in hand. Bubby, after arguing with the tanned skin captain for an hour about how drinking in front of Flapjack was a bad example, looked disgruntled and tired, the water was warmer than she liked it today, and the two males weren't helping at all with her stress. After hours of hearing Flapjack whine to K'nuckles about being bored, only to return to the water while K'nuckles whispered sailor swears under his breath, the sky blue whale grew frustrated beyond belief.

"Hey! Why don't you two go to the Candy Barrel? I'll give you both enough money for two Candy Mugs if you leave me alone!" K'nuckles and Flapjack blinked, both awestricken, at the whale. She barley ever had acted like this before, and only when she was distressed did she act upon impulse and yell at the two.

"You've got money?" K'nuckles instantly turned his attention towards what the whale had said about money, since whenever he needed it, it wasn't there.

"Yes I've got money!" Bubby reached into her mouth to pull out a small green bag full of coins and throw it in the direction of a cobalt haired head. Having the bag his right on target, K'nuckles whined and pulled his hat off to rub where it had grown sore from the impact. Flapjack pulled his red and white striped shirt over his head before bending over to retrieve the green bag.

"You alright, Cap'n?" The sweet blonde asked, receiving a disgruntled groan from the older man. Bubby turned around and dove beneath the water, searching for colder depths.

Once the pain had subsided from K'nuckles head, the two began heading for the Candy Barrel, talking excitedly about what they wanted to get while they were there.

Peppermint Larry greeted his two rarely paying customers with his usual lipless smile, cheeks round and red. Flapjack, always enthusiastic about everything, ran up and greeted the store clerk.

"Howdy Peppermint Larry! How's business?" He asked, seating himself upon a red pillowed stool. The man sighed and ran a hand through his slicked back hair.

"It's okay, I guess. I mean, the economy is really bad right now and I barley have any customers anymore, but of course someone of your youth wouldn't really know what economy even means," The brunette gave Flapjack a look as he shook his blonde head, yellow locks of wavy hair hitting the sides of his face as he did so.

"Nupe! I have noooo idea what you're talking about! But I'm guessing it's bad," The boy smiled and gave Larry a sweet fluttering of eyelashes. Just then, K'nuckles cleared his throat to gain some attention. As Larry turned his focus onto K'nuckles, the captain pulled out the green bag of money from his pocket.

"Well today is your lucky day, my man, because I, being an adult, know what you're talking about, and I'm willing to fix that problem," K'nuckles opened the small bag with stiff fingers. The surgery done to him long ago was still affecting his prosthetic bones. After much struggle, the sides of the bag fell to reveal a small pile of gold coins stacked in a mess. Peppermint Larry's eyes lit up, and he was quick to smile and give all his attention to his customers.

"Great! So what can I get you two?" The brunette asked enthusiastically. K'nuckles first glanced to Flapjack and for once in his life, gestured with his hands for Flapjack to order first.

"Really Cap'n?" Flapjack asked in astonishment, causing annoyance to flood over the generosity in K'nuckles heart.

"Yes really, now hurry up and order before I change my mind," The captain urged. Flapjack skimmed his choices on the shelves behind the eager store clerk and his eyes fell on a small cup of an assortment of sweets. Flapjack pointed at it and asked demanded he have it, followed by a polite "Please". Peppermint Larry nodded and gave it to the young boy, K'nuckles handing over the payment before telling the store clerk what he wanted. Larry nodded and obediently retrieved exactly what K'nuckles pleased for.

"Thank you, Peppermint Larry!" Flapjack's nasally cute voice rang in K'nuckles ears. Damn that boy, he needed to learn to be sterner.

Popping a lemon flavoured hard candy into his mouth from the cup of assortments, Flapjack smiled at K'nuckles, who was left blushing after Flapjack returned his gaze on his candy. Why he blushed, the man did not know, but he could admit that more than once in his life he had had sexual thoughts about the young lad. He was also highly convinced that every man Flapjack came in contact with wanted to take advantage of the petite little boy as well, so it would be normal to have thoughts like that over such a girly boy. But blushing over something as simple as a smile... Maybe it was just the weird feeling in his head today, he guessed. To bad he guessed wrong, and it wasn't that at all. He tried to finish the sugar coated luxury in front of him in a state of anything less awkward, but couldn't. He sat there, flustered and embarrassed. That boy was too cute for his own good.

"I need a drink," K'nuckles moaned as he sat up from his empty cup that was once occupied with candy.

"But Cap'n, I'm not done yet," Flapjack pouted, a few caramel candies in his mouth and a liquorish in his hand. The cobalt haired man sighed, taking off his hat once more to rub his head, which this time hurt because of a growing headache.

"Come on, you can take it with us," at that, the captain left with a fast stride, Flapjack trying to shovel candy in his pockets and mouth and run after his captain all at once.

The disgruntled captain made a beeline to the liquor store, Flapjack sticking his soft pink lower lip in a pout that he the liquor store was the only place he couldn't follow his role model. Some role model...

"Do you really need to-?"

"Yes," The captain cut off what Flapjack was going to say before he said it, approaching the store he favoured oh so much. Flapjack crossed his small arms, not happy with what his captain was doing.

"Why do you always have to-?"

"Because it makes me feel better! Now leave me be!" At that, K'nuckles entered the store, leaving Flapjack to grow depressed outside the doors, heat causing him to pant slightly from his fast walk.

"Why is he always so mean about his beer?!" Flapjack felt small tears gather in his eyes. Alcohol was the one thing he couldn't share with the captain, and trust me; he wanted to share everything with him. He longed for the captain to be proud of him, acknowledge his efforts, praise him when he did something right, and say "I love you too" whenever the small blonde told his captain that he loved him, and not to be ignored with a grunt or "whatever". Some things that the captain did like ignore Flapjacks efforts tore the small boy in half sometimes, and more than once Flapjack had cried himself to sleep because his best friend had said nothing when Flapjack had done something right for once. K'nuckles was a sin, something that Flapjack shouldn't hang around, and Bubby was the best role model ever, yet Flapjack favoured his problem more than his supporter. He pleads for the one he couldn't have, the one that would never notice him, the one that Flapjack believed to hate him. It killed the boy on the inside.

As K’nuckles returned to the sweltering outside world, Flapjack tried to hide the sadness creeping its way into his heart from showing on his face. K'nuckles, seemingly already drunk from the high end whiskey he bought with Bubby's money, stumbled alongside Flapjack, who glared at the ground as they walked.

"Crap," K’nuckles swore when he remembered that Bubby wasn't going to be there when they returned.

"What is it Cap'n?" Flapjack asked cutely.

"We need a place to stay tonight, Bubby's tryin' to escape the heat, got any ideas, boy?" The captain asked and put Flapjack in an opportunity to please his captain. He looked around Stormalong, searching for any place they could stay. Upon spotting a small sailboat, he got an idea.

"What's the nearest island from Stormalong, K'nuckles?" He asked, looking up at his captain, who in his drunken state of mind was thinking.

"I think its Fruit Island, lad. Why?" The cobalt haired man asked. Flapjack grinned and pointed to the sailboat.

"We can sail out to Fruit Island and stay the night there!" K'nuckles nearly dropped his paper bag out liquor.

"That's a wondrous idea, Flap! Let's go get on that sailboat!" The pair broke out in a run, K'nuckles tripping over his feet slightly, for the sailboat.

"But Cap'n, it belongs to somebody else!" Flapjack yelled at the Captain, who bluntly ignored him. He was the one to reach the old wooden boat first and began untying it.

"We're just borrowing it, boy! If we return it without a scratch, nobody will ever know!" The man smiled as he finished removing the ropes from the boat. Flapjack shrugged it off and hopped it, and the two were off to Fruit Island.

It wasn't until sunset when the pair reached the island, and both were starving.

"What are we gonna eat for dinner, Cap'n?" Flapjack asked, looking around the island of trees and exotic plants.

"Uhh, fruit?" The Captain guessed stupidly.

"That's a great idea!" Flapjack shouted and grabbed the captain's stiff hand to lead him into the jungle of fruits. The young blonde seemed to favour a round purple fruit after trying many others, and decided to pick only those, leaving Captain K'nuckles with all the rest.

After the two were done eating, they walked around for a possible place to sleep.

"Hey Cap'n? Can we sleep under the stars on the beach? I mean..." Flapjack blushed, searching for a reason other than "It’s so romantic out there".

"Well, seeing as the weather's hotter that the flames of hell we can, since there's no chance of us freezing, let alone growing cold at all," Flapjack laughed and the pair headed for the beach.

"K'nuckies?" Flapjack asked once both were situated on the beach, K'nuckles lying on his side, Flapjack sitting cross-legged on a large branch of a palm tree that protected his rear from touching the sand.

"What?" K'nuckles harsh reply came, startling the young boy.

"I..." Flapjack really wanted to talk about why K'nuckles was never proud of him for anything he ever did. As soon as he was about to ask, a knot caught in his throat and it felt like he was going to cry.

"What is it, Flap?" K’nuckles watched as Flapjack's eyes grew glassy, sky blue turning pale blue with the moon that shone so brightly.

"I... I can't say it! You won't care!" Flapjack looked the other way, tears threatening to spill.

"You can tell Uncy K'nucky anything!" K'nuckles tried to soothe the boy with his "amazing" child skills.

"No I can't! You won't care, and it's really serious!" Flapjack looked back at K'nuckles, tears streaming down his face, shining and sparkling in the moonlit night.

"If it's that important that it's making you cry, of course I'll care!" K'nuckles was knocked out of his surreal feeling as nothing but worry took over him, for the first time, he was honestly worried about his young blonde friend, and not just wanting to know out of curiosity.

"You never care! About anything! If I do something to try to impress you, you won't even care!" Flapjack sobbed, looking away, and K'nuckles sat up, awestruck. He honestly never did listen when Flapjack silently called out for his attention, and it was all blowing up in front of his face, and right now, he felt like the biggest dick on the face of the Earth.

"I..." Captain K'nuckles didn't know what to say. He wanted to tell Flapjack he was sorry, but he couldn't if he never realized it until just now. He wanted to tell him that it was a lie, but it wasn't, he wanted to say it was okay, but he couldn't. He just couldn't, and he didn't know how to make the slightest amends to the blonde. "Flapjack," He tried again.

"I'm sorry!" Flapjack cried, bawling into his hands, "I'm sorry! I was being stupid!" He wiped his tears on the back of his hand, trying to force away the infernal signs of weakness.

"It's okay. I'm not mad at you," K'nuckles said, softly, marveling at how beautiful the boy was, even when he was crying, as if seeing him for the first time, "I'm mad at myself," Knuckles moved close to the small boy, their bodies growing close, "I'm so deeply mad at myself, because I was so ignorant of you," Knuckle's thin body touched Flapjacks, "You deserve better," K'nuckle's voice was a whisper in Flapjacks soft ear now, and the boy's tears were beginning to stop.

"R- Really?" Flapjack's small voice came, causing the older man to blush. His companion was so cute.

"Yes really. I realize now, that you do allot, and I'm too big of an ass to notice. I'm sorry, Flapjack. I owe you an apology," Knuckle's lips brushed the boy's ear, causing the blonde to shiver, somewhat lulled to calm after the storm.

"I love you, Captain," Flapjack said, still unaware how powerful those words were.

"I... I love you too, boy," Flapjack turned his head to face his captain and lay a small kiss on the man's slightly bearded chin. Suddenly, K'nuckles realized what he felt for the boy, love. He loved the boy.

Taking Flapjack's soft hand in his own stiff, wooden boned ones, K'nuckles kissed Flapjack back, but not on the cheek. Right on his tender lips. Flapjack's eyes shot open, blushing and his body straightened. He moaned slightly in surprise, confusing K’nuckles into thinking that the boy wanted a deeper kiss that was much more pleasurable.

"Flapjack," K'nuckles breathed after separating from the boy.

"Yes?" Flapjack answered, trying to steady himself after the shock.

"I want you to go along with everything I'm going to do next, okay? Just let me do everything, and when I tell you to do something, do it. After this, I'll never ignore you ever again," K'nuckles commanded. Flapjack nodded, eager to know what K'nuckles was planning to do. He didn't know what sex was, and didn't know any sex terms or anything that had to do with sex at all.

It wasn't the mixed signals that Flapjack gave K’nuckles; it was K'nuckles himself, wanting sex from the younger boy more than ever, now being the perfect time to do just that.

The older man began to shift himself in front of Flapjack to take off the boy's green bandana. The young blonde swallowed hard, nervous. He didn't want to ask questions though, so he kept his mouth shut and let the bandana fall in his lap. K'nuckles fingered the ends of Flapjack's thin shirt, readying to take it off the boy, who let him. The garment went over the blonde's head, taking his cap with it, and K'nuckles pressed on to take off Flapjack's pants. At this, Flapjack let out an unsure groan, which led on K'nuckles even more. He unbuttoned the infernal gament and ripped them down the boy's legs along with his underwear, leaving Flapjack completley naked in the pale moonlight. His alabaster skin, illuminated by the moon, grew hot with the warm night and flustered embarasment of being naked in front of his captain. He still, dare not ask why as K'nuckles climbed on top of the younger boy so he hunched over the skiny body. Their lips met once more, this time K'nuckle's tongue delve into the younger's mouth, causing him to whine in pleasure and surprise at the feeling of his captain's warm wet ligament inside of his mouth. Flapjack's naked malnourished body trembled beneath his captains. The roof of the smaller boy's mouth was licked upon by his captain's, including every other part of him mouth that the captain’s tongue could reach. Small whimpers of pleasure escaped the blonde's throat, followed by groaning so quite it was barley audible coming from the captain, whose hand was beginning to explore his captive's body. K'nuckle's hand ran over soft shoulders, a protruding collar bone, soft pink nipples, a rived ribcage, a soft tummy, and bony hips. Seeing Flapjack react to his nipples being touched, K'nuckles reached his hand back up to one of the erect nerves and pet one stiff finger over it. Flapjack let out a small whine of pleasure through the kiss he and K'nuckles were currently sharing. K'nuckles pet it again and again until Flapjack's body started to quiver from pleasure that was causing him to feel the weirdest of things. He was far from hitting puberty yet, so this wasn't even remotely relative to him in any way, he didn't even knew doing this sort of thing existed.

"Feel good, Flap?" K'nuckles panted after the kiss was broken, still toying with Flapjack's nipple, the boy nodding and moaning. That moaning turned to sharp cries and mewls as K'nuckles had placed his pair of lips on the boy's pert nipple, running his tongue along it and teasing it between teeth. Flapjack couldn't do anything, pleasure overridden his body and the only thing he knew was that it felt good. As K'nuckles sucked Flapjack's beautifully pink nipple, his hand once more traveled south. When Flapjack felt the older man's hand so close to his rather small penis, he grew nervous. Before K'nuckles had time to wrap a stiff hand around the boyhood, Flapjack let out protest.

"Please! Don't touch me there! Anywhere but there!" K'nuckles had to refrain from laughing. Flapjack was too cute. And despite his sad attempt at protesting, K'nuckles began to stroke the small prick, causing Flapjack to scream in pleasure. One of the man's bony digits finger's the tip of the boy's penis, eliciting more screams and cries of pleasure.

"You can scream louder if you want nobody's here," K'nuckles told Flapjack after he lifted his mouth off the boy's chest. Flapjack responded with a loud moan when K'nuckles continued his work. Flapjack saw more stars then there were in the clear night sky as K'nuckles began to massage the very tip of the small boy's manhood, the boy not even finding the correct amount of vocal expression to express what he felt. His throat squeaked as his back arched the muscles in his bony hips and thin thighs flexing. Teeth bit down on the boy's sensitive pink nipple, causing Flapjack to find his voice and scream. Breathing hard, the blonde brought his tongue to his lower lip, and like a dog he panted. K'nuckles forcefully pushed his finger hard in the tip of Flapjack's prick. The combination brought Flapjack to let out a distressed scream, more of a loud growl than a scream. The Captain's pants grew tighter, and soon he grew tired of foreplay, desperate for sex. He parted from Flapjack's chest and looked the boy in the eyes, grinning, impatient to feel the young virgin around him, all the while still toying with the head of the boy's cock. Flapjack could barley focus on K'nuckles through squinting eyes and upturned eyebrows.

"I'm gonna fuck you, and boy, is going to hurt," The cobalt haired man said through a husky voice. Flapjack didn't expect it to hurt, seeing as his captain would never purposely hurt him physically, so all he expected was it to merely sting. The boy nodded his blonde head, ready for whatever K'nuckles could do to him, at least what he thought K'nuckles was going to do to him.

The Captain took his hands off the young boy and scooted between his legs, which were now propped up on either side of K'nuckles bony hips. The man's gold eyes looked Flapjack's lower half over and in the light of the moon, found the tight ring of muscle that he was searching for, unexpectedly close to the boy's small sac, only inches of smooth skin from it, actually.

"Ready, Flap?" The blonde nodded and soon after felt a stiff boned finger violate his entrance. The boy winced, knowing that this feeling was weird; this new feeling that he was far from ready to experience. But, he put mighty trust and faith in his captain, and knew that this wouldn't hurt too badly.

The thrusting of the one finger grew faster, and as the young boy grew wet, it was easier to lubricate him, and the man stuck another finger inside of the boy. Flapjack let out a cry of pain, the rim of muscle stretching, his legs lifting to give K'nuckles better access that hopefully wouldn't hurt. K'nuckles two fingers pumped in and out of the boy's tight entrance, and soon Flapjack was used to the undying pain. Unfortunately for him though, there was one more to go. K'nuckles dove a third inside of the boy, and this time Flapjack screamed, his hole tearing and slightly bleeding.

"K'nuckles! I- It hurts!" He cried, reaching up and grabbing ahold of his captain's shoulders. K'nuckles looked down at him, somewhat annoyed that such small of a thing could hurt.

"Be brave, Flapjack, it will only hurt for a bit. If you let me do this for only a bit longer it will be over with," K'nuckles said, causing Flapjack to bite his lip and nod, trying not to show any signs of pain. On the outside, it hurt like hell, but on the inside, Flapjack would let his captain do this to him as much as he wanted if it brought them closer together.

When K'nuckles was done, he pulled his three fingers out and quickly took off his own jacket and shirt and pulled his pants down to his knees to reveal his frightningly hardened member. Flapjack tilted his head forward to look at the man between his legs. The cobalt haired man wrapped his hand around his prick and positioned himself right between the boy's legs. Once the head touched the entrance, K'nuckles gave a smile and pushed forward, trying his absolute hardest not to hurt the boy, who's legs were wrapped tightly around his captain's waist. Flapjack gave a sudden yelp, feeling his captain enter his tight virgin hole.

"K'nuckles!" Flapjack screamed the head all the way in.

"The key is t- to relax, boy," K'nuckles leant over Flapjack and thrust forward violently, Flapjack's wet hole taking in only half of his captain's penis. The blonde boy let out a distressed scream. K'nuckles clenched his teeth together; the young boy was too tight. The only way for this to work was to hurt the blonde, but that was the last thing K'nuckles wanted.

"I- It hurts!" Flapjack yelled between distressed groaning and heavy panting. His crystal blue eyes squeezed shut.

"Flap, look at me!" K'nuckles demanded, watching the young boy's face as his eyes squinted open, "It's going to be okay. Sure it will hurt, but Flapjack; this is what people do when they love each other!" A side of K'nuckles that no one had ever seen before. Love and caring, finally it wasn't all about himself. Flapjack nodded and mouthed an "I love you too" back to his captain, who thrusted further inside of him, tearing the small boy's asshole. Flapjack bit his lip, moaning in pain. "It's okay to scream, I know it hurts," K'nuckles said, pulling out slightly and pushing back in. A little more than half his penis was engulfed by Flapjack's tight ass.

"AAAHHNN!" Flapjack let his head fall back; his hands shooting up to tightly grab his captain's shoulders. K'nuckles repeated this motion, pulling out to the head and diving back in to the point of massive blood drawl, the ring of muscle around Flapjack's entrance ripping and stretching beyond belief. The boy's chest heaved, his throat hurt from the fresh round of screaming and crying brought by every new thrust. Once more did the man pull out and dive back in, hitting the boy's prostate. This time, half the screaming was out of raw pleasure.

"There!"

"What?"

"There! Right there! Hit it again!" Flapjack screamed, bucking his hips to lead K'nuckles to that one spot again. K'nuckles repeated what he did, but harder and faster, causing an unbelievable amount of pleasure to overwhelm the young boy. K'nuckles smiled, knowing what was happening. To avoid hurting Flapjack, he aimed for that one spot, faster and harder, shoving himself into it. Flapjack's grip on his captain's shoulders tightened nails digging into the tan flesh. His back arching and head tilted back, the boy whined and mewled in pure pleasure. K'nuckles fingers clawed at the large palm branch beneath them, Flapjack clenching around his cock. Both of them glistened in the adoring moonlight, sweat that covered them shining. Heavy breathing escaped both of their mouths, as well as loud moaning that seemed like it would never cease.

K'nuckles had to keep on reminding himself to go easy on the boy, not to hurt him, that he was in enough pain as is, but he couldn't go any gentler, the need to climax begging to be paid attention to.

Flapjack felt as if he were dying yet alive more than he had ever been in his entire life. His trusted captain fucked him into the beach floor, and it hurt, in fact it hurt so bad to convince him that the man didn't love him at all, but the immense pleasure reminded him that his captain was doing this because he loved him.

K'nuckles created a steady pace, fast and hard in and out. Of course, it was way too hard for Flapjack, but he withstood it. As long as it pleasured his captain. Flapjack screamed, notifying that pain and agony had grown to strong for pleasure to push away. K'nuckles leant over close to Flapjack, still keeping his tempo, and kissed the boy on the lips. The blonde wrapped his small arms around his captain's neck, pulling him closer. The two malnourished bodies moved together under the moon, the larger planting delicate kisses on the smaller boy's cheeks. Flapjack blinked away tears, trying not to be too moved by the touching moments he spent with his captain.

The feeling of Flapjack's walls tightly around him was too much, K'nuckles got closer to the boy and let out a loud groan, flexing his muscles and quickening his pace. Flapjack moaned in ecstasy, a feeling he was far from ready to feel. Suddenly, his captain dealt his last blow and shot his seed madly into the younger boy, who came on the impact of the older man's climax. The two stayed still, panting as they both finished their ending. K'nuckles sat up and pulled out of the younger boy and scooted back to view the damage done. It was better than he thought it would be minimal blood and cuts. Flapjack laid panting and crying in pain. The older looked at him with saddened eyes. But when a small smile appeared on the boy's lips and his eyes opened, K’nuckles let out a sigh.

"I love you, Cap'n..." Flapjack moaned and let his legs collapse. Obviously the aftershock was somewhat over, but there was still something left to do.

K'nuckles crawled next to Flapjack and reached out a hand to pet his soft blonde hair. And with the nicest voice, responded, "Love you too, boy". Flapjack sat up to face K'nuckles, who was much taller than him. Smiling, Flapjack crawled into K'nuckle's lap and wrapped his arms around the man's neck to kiss him softly on the lips. K'nuckles wrapped his own arms around the boy, coddling him in a loving embrace. He would've never guessed this is where he would be a day ago, sitting naked on the beach with a nude Flapjack in his arms. He liked it, and honored the fact that he could be special to such an adorable boy.

'If only I didn't take his innocence,' K'nuckles thought sadly. His smile faded as he looked down at Flapjack, who was currently yawning and cuddling himself into K'nuckle's bony chest. The cobalt haired man swallowed hard. He wished none of this had ever happened.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Yeah, I know, I'm a sickout. Go on and flame.

But I must say, there needs to be more of this pairing out there (to soothe my creepy pedophile needs). Yeah so this took a while to write. I kept on getting stuck... ___ And it didn't help that I was drunk while writing the first half. :( I also had to text like, five of my guy friends to find out if a ten year old boy could orgasm. I think I freaked them out. 0_o

Oh well. I don't need boys. :D See you in my next fic!

Joan Graves hates this story.

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For having a blog entry featured. Chewbot gives congrats for not getting any warnings for over 5 years For songmaking during the '11 Festival For outstanding achievement in achievement! For taking pa-a-a-aaaaaaaart. Well done Link! You won! For news staff writings.

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Title: "Bart Simpson Dies A Violent Death".

A/N: Fuck you Scott, you fucker!

The Simpsons: Bart Is Dead

Bart Simpsons walked through the corridors of Springfield Elementary. It was quiet in this darkness.

"Heheheheheheh...now to plant my special antrhax in Skinners office. HA HA HA HA HA..." Bart Simpson said.

"SIMPSON!! What are you doing?" Skinner said.

"Uh...anthrax?"

"You know the penaltly for when Bart Simpson uses anthrax? I get to murder you."

"Uhhhhhhhhhh. NO!" Bart said as he was picked up by Skinner.

"Skateboards aren't allowed on these premises." Skinner said as he nailed Bart to Bart's skatboard.

Skinner shoved a gallon of hot sauce down bart's throat.

"Ow man. That fucking hurts."

Skinnner took a pole wrapped in sandpaper and shoved it down Barts throat as well.

"OW."

"Yes, mother will be pleased."

"NOO!"

Skinner then plucked out Bart's eyes with the pole after pulling it out of Bart.

"Would you like a meatball?"

"NNNNNNNNNNNNNNO!!'

"I hope you like your scalp pulled off you annoying bastard." Skinner said as he jabbed a steak knife into Bart's skull, cutting off the top of his head.

"Now to eat your brains." Skinner said as he ate Bart's brains.

"Duuhhhhhh!?" Bart was retarded.

Skinner smacked Bart with a bat. He put him in a bag. He grinded Bart up in a meat grinder.

The doorbell rang at the Simpson home.

"Who is it?" Homer said as he opened the door.

"Hello, Simpson father. Bart has moved to Washington D. C. to live with the president. He sent you this special package of fresh meat." Skinner said as he handed the family the meat.

"WOO-HOO!" Homer said.

"DINNER TIMME!!" Marge said.

"MMMMM!" Homer said as he ate the grilled meat.

"MMM! I also enjoy this!!!" Lisa said.

"Delicious!!" Marge said.

Maggie took out her pacifier.

"Yum."

"YAY!!!!" The family collectively cheered.

The end.

WTF

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Arthur vs. the World

It was another typical day at the Read residence where the two siblings I’m sure you all know that are Arthur and his little sister Dora Winifred or just DW for short. Now you might think two siblings fighting each other is natural but when it comes to these two, you will never know! Their parents of coarse try not to use discipline unless it was a last resort like when Arthur broke the window, Mr. Read beat his little eight year old ass with a leather belt. Or when DW told her mother to FUDGE off, Mrs. Read lifted the little girl over her knee and beat her ass relentlessly until she cried out in pain. Back to Arthur and DW fighting, usually it would end terribly with one of them falling down the stairs or getting hit.

But on a day like this where Mr. and Mrs. Read have plans to go out but couldn’t find a baby sitter for Arthur, DW, and Kate. Out of a very stupid plot device Arthur was in charge so the parents could leave. Mrs. Read left the phone numbers so Arthur can call them incase anything happens. The parents left, Arthur went over to the TV and switched it on to watch Bionic Bunny. DW came in complaining that she wanted to watch her show, the situation turned drastic and soon the two started fighting with some nasty words.

“Poop head!” DW called her brother.

“Little witch.” Arthur shouted.

“SCREW YOU!” DW yelled.

“What did you say?” Arthur yelled in question.

“I’ll tell mom that it was you that stole the snowball out of the fridge!” DW answered.

“DW for the millionth time I didn’t take it!” Arthur was getting fed up already.

“Change the channel!” DW demanded.

“After Bionic Bunny.” Arthur sat back on the green couch.

(5 minutes later…)

DW didn’t stop demanding to have the TV and started to annoy Arthur terribly. It worked him up so much that the next syllable that came out of her mouth, he didn’t care. He punched her in the face; she fell back and started moaning in pain. Not too soon after that she grabbed the lamp that was sitting on top of the desk and smashed it over Arthur’s head.

“AH!” Arthur yelled trying to cover his head.

“That’s for punching me!” DW hollered. Not too soon after that, Arthur bit back by smashing his glass of milk in her face pretty hard causing it to shatter with the shards of glass cutting her face.

DW launched herself onto Arthur while he was still on the couch pinning his face into the cushion then out of nowhere, she started to bite on Arthur’s left ear. Arthur screamed as his left ear was bleeding, until suddenly DW bit off his ear completely and spit it out onto the hardwood floor. Arthur cried trying to hold his ear; he elbowed DW in the face hard causing her to land on the floor too.

Arthur climbed on top of the couch pretending he was a professional wrestler and leaped off the couch on top of DW digging his elbow into her chest. DW howled and punched Arthur in the testicles, he fell over and DW tried leaping on him again but Arthur counters by lifting his legs up and kicking her over himself making her hit the expensive China cabinet. She fell to the floor; the big cabinet was tittering and fell on top of her.

Arthur went back to watching television like nothing happened and ignored the blood coming out from underneath the fallen cabinet.

Arthur woke up the next morning and he was mad for some reason, he saw his dog Pal sleeping on the foot of his bed. Arthur got out of bed and picked up his puppy, then walked out his room and threw his dog down the stairs hearing it yelp.

That didn’t satisfy Arthur’s anger, he walked down the stairs ignoring the injured puppy and walked into the kitchen to see his father making breakfast, “Oh hey Arthur. I’m making something stupid for breakfast and I want you to eat it.”

Arthur was angry, he walked over to the kitchen drawer and pulled out a big knife. Then he walked behind his dad and stabbed him in the back. David Read shouted in pain as Arthur continued to stab his father to death until he was a big bloody mess, Arthur got blood on his blue pajamas and decided to go take a bath. Only to find his mother brushing her hair, Arthur replied, “Get out mom I need to shit!”

“Arthur! Watch your language!” Diane Read shouted at her son, “And why is there blood all over you?”

Arthur was angry... So he shoved his mother out the window causing her to land on the driveway cracking her head open and bleeding all over the concrete. Arthur decided to go to school with his bloody pajamas on, he sat down in the classroom and doesn’t care how late he was.

“Arthur you’re four hours late, you get a detention!” Mr. Ratburn was tapping his foot on the ground, “And why are you covered in blood?”

Arthur was angry, he punched Mr. Ratburn in the testicles then lifted his own desk above his head and bashed the rat over the head with it about a hundred times until he was nothing but a bloody stump on the floor. The class cheered, Arthur stood up and announced, “I am your new king! Obey me and I will guarantee I won’t kill you! Unless you piss me off...” The kids looked at each other and decided to obey Arthur as they soon set up his own throne by stacking up their desks, “Now my follows, you all can now suck my...”

“Arthur Read, what in god’s name are you doing?” Mr. Haney demanded answers, “And why are you covered in blood?”

“Shut up and go the fudge away!” Arthur ordered, Mr. Haney left without caring. Arthur then now ordered Fern and Sue Ellen to be his fan girls, he ordered Binky and Francine to fight to the death in the classroom, he told Buster to go get him a soda, George to tell him jokes, Jenna was rubbing his feet, he told Muffy to go be useful and kill herself, he then told the Brain to dress up like an Asian hooker with a clown wig on his head and just stand there.

“Hey uh, Arthur. They don’t have cherry soda in the machine.” Buster came back with an orange soda.

Arthur was mad, he took the orange soda from Buster and bashed his face in with it. He stood up and accidently killed Jenna was his stinky feet and she died without oxygen, Francine already killed Binky by stabbing him in the eye with a pencil, Brain just stood there, he grabbed Sue Ellen and Fern and smashed their heads together. He then walked over to Francine and stabbed her in the eye with a pencil like she did with Binky. Arthur was mad, he left the classroom while George and Brain just stood there looking at each other.

“Thought he was going to kill us too.” Brain sighed in relief, suddenly out of nowhere the two left blown up for no apparent reason leaving blood and guts all over the classroom.

Arthur was still mad, he walked over to Crosswire motors and stole a car then ran over Mr. Crosswire. He stopped at the sugar bowl and wanted ice cream, they didn’t have the flavor he wanted so he killed everyone there too, he then went to the library and found out the books he wanted weren’t there either so killed the librarian and everyone in it. He was laughing like a maniac as he went on a rampage through out Elwood City. He wasn’t finally satisfied until everyone was dead... but then...

Arthur was all alone... he dropped to his knees looking at his shaking hands trembling, “What have I done?” He looked up at the sky, “I NEED HELP!” And then Arthur was struck by lightning and went to hell like everyone else did while the devil showed him nothing but old reruns of Sex in the City. Arthur screamed loudly for the rest of eternity.

WAT?

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Arthur vs. the World

It was another typical day at the Read residence where the two siblings I’m sure you all know that are Arthur and his little sister Dora Winifred or just DW for short. Now you might think two siblings fighting each other is natural but when it comes to these two, you will never know! Their parents of coarse try not to use discipline unless it was a last resort like when Arthur broke the window, Mr. Read beat his little eight year old ass with a leather belt. Or when DW told her mother to FUDGE off, Mrs. Read lifted the little girl over her knee and beat her ass relentlessly until she cried out in pain. Back to Arthur and DW fighting, usually it would end terribly with one of them falling down the stairs or getting hit.

But on a day like this where Mr. and Mrs. Read have plans to go out but couldn’t find a baby sitter for Arthur, DW, and Kate. Out of a very stupid plot device Arthur was in charge so the parents could leave. Mrs. Read left the phone numbers so Arthur can call them incase anything happens. The parents left, Arthur went over to the TV and switched it on to watch Bionic Bunny. DW came in complaining that she wanted to watch her show, the situation turned drastic and soon the two started fighting with some nasty words.

“Poop head!” DW called her brother.

“Little witch.” Arthur shouted.

“SCREW YOU!” DW yelled.

“What did you say?” Arthur yelled in question.

“I’ll tell mom that it was you that stole the snowball out of the fridge!” DW answered.

“DW for the millionth time I didn’t take it!” Arthur was getting fed up already.

“Change the channel!” DW demanded.

“After Bionic Bunny.” Arthur sat back on the green couch.

(5 minutes later…)

DW didn’t stop demanding to have the TV and started to annoy Arthur terribly. It worked him up so much that the next syllable that came out of her mouth, he didn’t care. He punched her in the face; she fell back and started moaning in pain. Not too soon after that she grabbed the lamp that was sitting on top of the desk and smashed it over Arthur’s head.

“AH!” Arthur yelled trying to cover his head.

“That’s for punching me!” DW hollered. Not too soon after that, Arthur bit back by smashing his glass of milk in her face pretty hard causing it to shatter with the shards of glass cutting her face.

DW launched herself onto Arthur while he was still on the couch pinning his face into the cushion then out of nowhere, she started to bite on Arthur’s left ear. Arthur screamed as his left ear was bleeding, until suddenly DW bit off his ear completely and spit it out onto the hardwood floor. Arthur cried trying to hold his ear; he elbowed DW in the face hard causing her to land on the floor too.

Arthur climbed on top of the couch pretending he was a professional wrestler and leaped off the couch on top of DW digging his elbow into her chest. DW howled and punched Arthur in the testicles, he fell over and DW tried leaping on him again but Arthur counters by lifting his legs up and kicking her over himself making her hit the expensive China cabinet. She fell to the floor; the big cabinet was tittering and fell on top of her.

Arthur went back to watching television like nothing happened and ignored the blood coming out from underneath the fallen cabinet.

Arthur woke up the next morning and he was mad for some reason, he saw his dog Pal sleeping on the foot of his bed. Arthur got out of bed and picked up his puppy, then walked out his room and threw his dog down the stairs hearing it yelp.

That didn’t satisfy Arthur’s anger, he walked down the stairs ignoring the injured puppy and walked into the kitchen to see his father making breakfast, “Oh hey Arthur. I’m making something stupid for breakfast and I want you to eat it.”

Arthur was angry, he walked over to the kitchen drawer and pulled out a big knife. Then he walked behind his dad and stabbed him in the back. David Read shouted in pain as Arthur continued to stab his father to death until he was a big bloody mess, Arthur got blood on his blue pajamas and decided to go take a bath. Only to find his mother brushing her hair, Arthur replied, “Get out mom I need to shit!”

“Arthur! Watch your language!” Diane Read shouted at her son, “And why is there blood all over you?”

Arthur was angry... So he shoved his mother out the window causing her to land on the driveway cracking her head open and bleeding all over the concrete. Arthur decided to go to school with his bloody pajamas on, he sat down in the classroom and doesn’t care how late he was.

“Arthur you’re four hours late, you get a detention!” Mr. Ratburn was tapping his foot on the ground, “And why are you covered in blood?”

Arthur was angry, he punched Mr. Ratburn in the testicles then lifted his own desk above his head and bashed the rat over the head with it about a hundred times until he was nothing but a bloody stump on the floor. The class cheered, Arthur stood up and announced, “I am your new king! Obey me and I will guarantee I won’t kill you! Unless you piss me off...” The kids looked at each other and decided to obey Arthur as they soon set up his own throne by stacking up their desks, “Now my follows, you all can now suck my...”

“Arthur Read, what in god’s name are you doing?” Mr. Haney demanded answers, “And why are you covered in blood?”

“Shut up and go the fudge away!” Arthur ordered, Mr. Haney left without caring. Arthur then now ordered Fern and Sue Ellen to be his fan girls, he ordered Binky and Francine to fight to the death in the classroom, he told Buster to go get him a soda, George to tell him jokes, Jenna was rubbing his feet, he told Muffy to go be useful and kill herself, he then told the Brain to dress up like an Asian hooker with a clown wig on his head and just stand there.

“Hey uh, Arthur. They don’t have cherry soda in the machine.” Buster came back with an orange soda.

Arthur was mad, he took the orange soda from Buster and bashed his face in with it. He stood up and accidently killed Jenna was his stinky feet and she died without oxygen, Francine already killed Binky by stabbing him in the eye with a pencil, Brain just stood there, he grabbed Sue Ellen and Fern and smashed their heads together. He then walked over to Francine and stabbed her in the eye with a pencil like she did with Binky. Arthur was mad, he left the classroom while George and Brain just stood there looking at each other.

“Thought he was going to kill us too.” Brain sighed in relief, suddenly out of nowhere the two left blown up for no apparent reason leaving blood and guts all over the classroom.

Arthur was still mad, he walked over to Crosswire motors and stole a car then ran over Mr. Crosswire. He stopped at the sugar bowl and wanted ice cream, they didn’t have the flavor he wanted so he killed everyone there too, he then went to the library and found out the books he wanted weren’t there either so killed the librarian and everyone in it. He was laughing like a maniac as he went on a rampage through out Elwood City. He wasn’t finally satisfied until everyone was dead... but then...

Arthur was all alone... he dropped to his knees looking at his shaking hands trembling, “What have I done?” He looked up at the sky, “I NEED HELP!” And then Arthur was struck by lightning and went to hell like everyone else did while the devil showed him nothing but old reruns of Sex in the City. Arthur screamed loudly for the rest of eternity.

WAT?

Marc Brown's Psycho

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How To Break A Family

DW was at kindergarten, playing in the sandbox. “Hey DW,” the Tibbles came up to her and started talking, “We have a dare for you.”

“Why would I do something you tell me?” DW asked, not taking her eyes off her toys.

“Well…” they replied, “When we were walking on the street, we saw something you lost,” they held up a small, blue-spotted stuffed cow.

“Mary Moo Cow!” DW shouted, trying to grab her long-lost toy.

“A-a-ah, not so fast,” Tommy Tibble said, “First, you have to pinky-swear to do our dare.”

“Okay, okay. What do I have to do?” DW questioned without hesitation. It was her favorite cow’s life at stake here.

“When we all go in, you have to hide behind the bushes,” Timmy began, “And when the coast is clear, you have to go on the store and get some candy,” Tommy continued, and the Tibbles laughed.

“No way,” DW disagreed.

“Timmy,” commanded Tommy, “Kill the cow.” Tommy Tibble took out a pair of scissors and pointed them at the cow’s throat.

“No!” DW yelled, “Okay, I’ll do it. Just don’t hurt Mary Moo Cow!”

“Okay. The store is just across the street,” the twins said and left.

DW hugged her cow, and gulped, afraid of what she agreed to do. “Maybe I can tell them I went, and there was no candy in the store,” she whispered to herself.

“Oh, by the way, DW,” the boys called to her, “We’ll be watching you.”

It was time. Everybody went inside, but DW stayed behind, in the bushes, like she was supposed to. She got out of the bushes and shook off the leaves she got on her clothes. She took another last glance at the small yard, and left it, her heart pounding and her hands shaking. Taking a deep breath, and clutching Mary Moo Cow closer to her, she left the yard.

DW was walking on the half-empty streets, searching for that store. She passed it millions of times with her parents, but when she was alone, everything seemed so much bigger… scarier. All of a sudden, a shady, silver van pulled up beside her. A man wearing sunglasses and a hat popped his head out of the open window and asked, “Hey, little girl, I just got a big bag of candy, and I don’t have anyone to share it with. Do you want some?”

“Oh, yes, please!” DW exclaimed. This was great. Now she wouldn’t have to go to the store.

“Come right over here,” he gestured with his finger.

“Oh, thank you mister,” DW came close to the window.

“This bag is very big, so I have to open the door to give it to you,” he explained as he opened the door.

“Where is the bag?” DW stared in confusion.

“It’s inside. Come closer…” the man mumbled. DW stuck her head into the car. Just as she did, the man grabbed her, gagged, tied her up and shoved her into the back seat. With a roar of the engine, the van drove away.

Oh god...I don't even want to continue.

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Arthur's Bad Day

A FanFiction by The Amazing Captain Awesome(LOL)

Based on the Characters and Stories by Marc Brown

As he lay in his bed, Arthur could not sleep. He wished for the days in Mister Ratburn's class,

so many years ago. Grade eleven was already hard enough. It was a hard day for the little Aardvark, but what could he do but supress his feelings? What else was there that he could do? It all started many hours ago, when he woke up at his friend Buster's house after a sleep-over.

"Arthur, hey Arthur," whispered Buster in the darkness. Arthur reached out from his sleeping bag and reached for his glasses. It was dark, but the electronic clock was bright and penetrated the abyssmal recesses that was Buster's room. The red number were glowing brightly, and burned Arthur's eyes. He tried to make out the time.

"Buster, it's three o'clock in the morning. What are you doing up? Arthur said weerily.

"I wanted to show you something, but I was waiting for my mom to go to bed." Buster sat up, and rolled out of bed.

He reached into a shoebox under his bed. Buster was hiding something here, it was very clear he didn't want his mom to see what he had collected. Buster opened the box and pulled out a magazine, and he turned on a flashlight that was neatly tucked inbetween his mattress and his bed. He spoke to Arthur,

"I don't get to see my Dad very much, ever since my parents split up. My mom told me that my Dad wasn't right,

that he was confused. But I don't know what she means, well at least I didn't."

Buster opened the magazine, and showed Arthur. The magazine was of the erotic nature, something that boys their age could not understand. But what they truly couldn't understand was that the people in this magazine, with all their touching and their kissing...they were all men.

"I think my Dad," Buster stammered,"I think my Dad might like boys instead of girls. I think that's why my parents split up. Arthur, I got this magazine out of my Dad's sock drawer last summer."

Arthur sat up. He felt uncomfortable. He remembered learning in Church that boys are supposed to like girls,

and they weren't supposed to fall in love with boys. It was stated very clearly in the book of Leviticus.

Arthur thought long and hard about Bible class, but he couldn't help but notice Buster's hands. One was holding the book, the other holding the flashlight. The light was long and slender, smooth and warm from the light.

Buster was enjoying feeling the light in his hand while he looked in the magazine.

"Buster," exclaimed Arthur,"you need to put that book away, or Jesus might think you like boys! And then you'll never get to heaven!"

Buster dropped the book, and turned off the light. He leaned forward on all fours and got right in Arthur's face.

"It's too late Arthur, I like boys too."

Buster pounced on Arthur, and shoved a sock in his mouth to muffle the scream. Arthur struggled, and tried to get away.

Buster grabbed the flashlight and hit Arthur over the head. That's when everything when dark.

It must've only been a few mintues, but Arthur opened his eyes, his right lens of his glasses was shattered, but through them the light from the clock shown through the darkness still. It read three twenty-seven. He had been out cold for twenty minutes. He tried to stand up, but then he noticed he was tied down to Buster's computer chair, with Buster's video camcorder watching him. Arthur looked down, he was naked. All of his clothes lay on the floor, a spot of blood on his shirt. His head must've been bleeding. He tried to check his face for blood,

but he could feel layers of tape holding his hands behind the neck of the chair.

Buster reached around Arthur's neck from behind, and nibbled on his ear.

"Be still," Buster whispered,"this is not going to hurt unless you make it hurt"

Buster lifted Arthurs arms up, and threw him on the floor. Arthur felt like a cold, naked turkey on Thanksgiving.

Bound, helpless and at the mercy of his captor. Buster slid up to Arthur's backside. And he prodded his penis at Arthur's anus.

Arthur struggled, he clenched tightly. HE tried to yell, but the sock in his mouth was now replaced with duct-tape.

Buster was no longer the innocent boy Arthur knew from so long ago. Then Buster raped Arthur. He violated him in his anus. Arthur grunted, but to no avail. Buster's dry cock rubbed his insides raw, he would do nothing but make it harder for himself. He prayed so heavily, that Jesus would take him that moment. But Buster kept pounding and pounding, slapping Arthur's buttocks. Then Buster came, he came hard to Arthur's now desecrated anus.

Buster stood, cum dripping from the tip of his penis. Arthur cried and cried, and kept praying. Buster opened his window, and picked Arthur up. He threw Arthur from his first-story window and tossed his clothes down to him.

Buster cleaned himself up, and grabbed a knife from his desk. Buster then climbed out the window and cut Arthur's bonds of shame.

"Get dressed, and go home. And if you tell anyone what happened, I'll kill your sister as you bleed to death watching."

Arthur pulled the tape off his mouth, and ran off naked, holding his clothes to his chest. He ran home, and slipped through the front door and into his room.

And laid in bed and cried and cried. He could not sleep, this day was so hard. His anus was so sore, and he was sure he bleeding after all the running. He laid in bed.

"Heavenly Father, please forgive me."

Arthur raised from his bed, and went to his closet. He took his favorite coat from a hanger. The hanger was cold metal. Arthur stretched the hanger and put it over his head, and began to turn it tighter and tighter. He cried and cried,

and he kneeled down to the floor. He reached behind his head and straightened the hook on the hanger. He turned around and leaned against the wall, and slid down slowly, until he felt the hook graze the electrical outlet. He closed his eyes.

"Be there for me Jesus."

Arthur pushed his head back, and the hanger entered the outlet. Tweleve amps entered his head and, due to the concussion he was already suffering, Arthur died from the shock.

But Arthur did not got to heaven, for committing suicide is a sin. He waited in purgatory until Judgement Day when he and Buster, who had now raped thirty-seven little boys in fourteen counties was found guilty of being a homosexual and disobeying God's covenant. And they were both cast into the fiery pit along with Satan and his rebel Angels.

The End

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DW’s mom was in the kindergarten, to pick her up.

“Oh my,” said the teacher, “she isn’t here. I got a phone call, saying that she was going home, early this morning.”

“What?!” Mrs. Read shouted. “Where is my daughter? What happened to her? She is missing! No! My little girl is missing!”

“Calm down,” the teacher guided Mrs. Read to a chair. “I am sure she’s fine.”

“I… I have to call the police. I have to call my husband. Where is DW?” cried DW’s mom.

“I don’t know,” replied the teacher sadly, “But maybe some of the other students know.” And so she asked the entire class. All of them said they had no idea where DW was, including the Tibbles, who didn’t want to get in trouble.

Arthur was sitting at home on the couch, watching Bionic Bunny. He was wondering why his mom and his sister weren’t back yet, but whatever the reason, he was glad. Thanks to DW’s favorite shows, he hasn’t seen Bionic Bunny in months.

“Arthur,” his dad came over, in front of the TV.

“Dad, I’m watching,” Arthur mumbled.

“This is more important,” Mr. Read switched off the television.

“What is it?” Arthur stretched as he asked, reluctantly, thinking this was something about chores or school.

“Well, your mother has just phoned, from the police station,” his dad told him.

“What?” Arthur sat up on the couch, alerted, “What happened?”

“DW…” Mr. Read stated, “She’s missing.”

“What?! How? When?” Arthur stuttered.

“Calm down son. She disappeared from kindergarten this morning. The police have already begun searching for her.”

The doorbell rang. “Maybe its DW!” shouted Mr. Read. He ran to the door.

“Hi,” Mrs. Read said as she entered the room. No DW.

“Mom, what happened to DW?” Arthur asked worriedly.

“Nobody knows, sweetie,” she answered, tears welling up in her eyes.

“It’s alright,” Mr. Read comforted her, putting his arm around his wife’s shoulders, “We’ll find her. I’m sure she is fine.”

“Don’t touch me,” snapped Mrs. Read, pulling away from her husband. Something strange was going on.

Days passed, but the police have still not found DW. It was the day of DW’s birthday, and grandma Thora was calling to tell her granddaughter happy birthday.

‘RING RING’ the telephone rang.

“Hello?” Arthur picked up the phone.

“Good morning, Arthur,” his grandma said cheerfully.

“Morning,” he muttered.

“How are you, sweetheart?” grandma Thora asked. Arthur didn’t reply. “Well, aren’t you gonna give the phone to the birthday girl?”

“She’s… not here right now,” Arthur sighed.

“What? Well, where is she?”

“Grandma… DW is… she is missing. For five days now.” He blurted out.

“WHAT?” shouted grandma Thora, “Oh, no. No…” There was a gasping noise, followed by a loud bang, and a crack. “Help me…” whispered Arthur’s grandmother.

“Grandma? Are you okay?” Arthur yelled into the phone. “Grandma?” the line went dead. “GRANDMA?”

Arthur, his parents and his baby sister Kate were sitting in a hospital waiting room. A door opened and a doctor in a white robe came out.

“What happened to her?” asked Mr. Read, getting up from his chair.

“Sir, it looks as though she had a heart attack,” the doctor replied, “We did a surgery, but – “

“How is she doing now?” Mr. Read interrupted.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Read. You mother, Thora Read… she…”

Grandma!!!

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For some reason, there are more fanfictions of the Fairy oddparents than Family Guy.

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For some reason, there are more fanfictions of the Fairy oddparents than Family Guy.

Godchild Molestation

The Fairy World new is alive with new allegations of molestation made by the godchildren. The reports center around a fairy named Micheal who allegedly brought his godchild to Fairy World, gave him Fairy Juice, and then molested him. The his the tenth such report in a year.

Back on Earth, Cosmo and Wanda are watching Fairy News when Timmy walks in. He watches the new report.

“What's Fairy Juice?” Timmy asks.

“It's this!” Cosmo says, magically creating a shiny goblet of red juice.

“Cosmo, no!” Wanda yells, but it's too late. Timmy drinks it.

“Mm. That was good. Cosmo, what's child molestation?”

“Here, Timmy. I'll show you!” Cosmo says.

“Cosmo, you fucking idiot!” Wanda screams. Cosmo puts his hand down Timmy's pants.

“What the-”, Timmy begins.

“Shh...” Cosmo says, removing his shirt. “Oh, yeah!”

Timmy screams. Fairy Cops burst in and arrest Cosmo. Timmy is crying now.

“Well, we all knew Cosmo was a fucking water-head retard.” Wanda says as the cops haul Cosmo away.

On the news the next day, Fairy Micheal is saying “I love all the children of the world. Your being ignorant. That's ignorant!”

Meanwhile, psycho-ass teacher Crocker is watching Fairy TV when human cops burst in. “Drop the child porn, pedophile!” they scream, guns drawn.

“FAIRIES!” psycho yells. “Look at them on the screen! PROOF!” The screen is now displaying images of the molested godchildren.

“You sick mother fucker!” the cops yell.

“I- but- ” Crocker says, reaching for one of his gadgets.

“That psycho's got a fuckin' bomb! Kill him!” the cops yell, wasting him with their M-16's.

Meanwhile, in Fairy Court, Timmy is testifying against Cosmo with Jorgen as the prosecutor. “Timmy Turnhun!” He says in his stolen Arnold voice, “Show the people where he touched you on this doll!” Timmy points to the groin. The crowd gasps.

“Cosmo, you sick bastard!” the judge yells. “I sentence you to a million years in Fairy Prison!”

Cosmo is magically sent to a prison cell with Micheal. “Hey, wanna play? I'm Peter Pan!” Micheal says. “Now bend over, I wanna ride the pony!” Micheal mounts up.

“Rape! RAPE!” Cosmo screams.

“No, that's ignorant! Don't be ignorant!” Micheal says.

The End.

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It was the first day of the integration workshop. Archie Bunker found a place to stand and smoke in the back of the room. A sea of heads dropped, almost in unison, as the class took their seats. Only Archie was left standing. The group turned and watched him. Grumbling, Archie put out his cigar and found a seat.

“Today,” began the instructor, a beautiful black woman with long, glossy hair,

“Today, we’ll start by getting to know each other. The first step to integration is understanding. Then comes tolerance.

“Before I pair you up, I’d like you to all shake hands. I’d even like to see some friendly embraces. Now find someone of a different race, and get to know them. Go on, get up,” she urged them.

Archie brought himself to his feet and glared around him, daring someone to get near him. Out of nowhere, two black arms wrapped around Archie’s mass. He cried out and shoved the man off of him.

“What da hell do ya think yer doin’!” Archie demanded.

“Tolerance, understanding, brotherly love...” explained the man.

“Now, listen here! I ain’t your brother and I sure as hell don’t love yeh!”

“Alright, alright, I hear you,” replied the man with his hands to his shoulders in a defensive gesture. He turned around, and Archie watched him attack another white man. Before he could watch the man’s response, Archie turned to leave the room.

The instructor met him at the door.

“Just where do you think you’re going?”

“I was goin’ ter get oudda dis hellhole,” replied Archie.

“What, you didn’t find any decent people worth knowing? Or,” leaning into him, her coal-black eyes glowing, she propounded “Is your strong prejudice veiling those beautiful blue eyes of yours?”

Archie’s eyes widened and his eyebrows chased his receded hairline.

“If you stay,” whispered the woman, “I might just give you an after-class tutoring session.”

“Now, why da hell would I want to be tutored for a dumb class I don’ even wanna be in in da firs’ place!” The woman put her finger to Archie’s lips.

“Oh, believe me, you thick-skulled, white supremacist lard ass,” she spoke, an ebony hand reaching his plump rear end, “You’ll want this lesson.”

The bulge in Archie’s pants indicated that he understood.

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