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Spaceman Schmuck, December 21, 2009 In Film, Television, and Videos
The Lion King 2
This is one of director Francis Ford Coppola's earliest films, and it definitely shows. It's not horrible, but it is a rather dull horror film. Luckily, Coppola would movie on to much better projects.
I hated it.
Plan 9 From Outer Space
Finally got around to experience this thing for myself, and my god, it's so bad, it's hilarious.
Within my family, it's the holy grail of so bad it's good cinema.
So many classic moments. I think my favorite physical goof is all of the people in the car simultaneously pointing into the sky, the best technical fuck-up is the chiropractor playing Lugosi's body double (specifically when his cape falls off while attacking the police officer and he has to readjust it), and my favorite line of dialogue...shit, maybe "Not just any town, a town full of pepole"? Or "You're stupid minds. Styupid! Styupid!" Every time I watch the movie, I have a new one.
Y'all aren't wrong. That movie is a legend. The fast-track production including the technical and written goofs; such as the obviously visible boom mic, the wobbly tombstones, an unrelated footage of Bela Lugosi that director Ed Wood filmed months before his death and over three years before this film's release, the memorable quotes--it's one of these bad movies that I come back to every time due to how cheesy and hilarious it is.
The Oregon Trail
No, it has nothing to do with the educational game we all know and love, but I'll say this much: this is one of the dullest westerns I ever sat through, and I made many a dysentery joke at its expense.
Ready to Rumble
...yep, it was pretty bad.
I'm gonna get shit flung at me but
The Bourne Identity
I just found the film's story had no direction or progression. The ending had no buildup and felt like it came out of nowhere. It's got interesting ideas, but I feel those ideas are put on the back burner while we watch Jason Bourne constantly trying to kill every single person in his way in clichéd James Bond fashion for 2 hours. Boring.
As shitty as can be expected. Personally, I don't get as much enjoyment out of Sharknado and its ilk, because the movies are intentionally bad and that really spoils the fun for me. But there were a few things to laugh at here, including all the inexplicable references to The Wizard of Oz and an ending reminiscent of Kung Pow.
The Equalizer 2 (2018)
I found that the pacing in this one was all over the place. Some of the acting was decent enough though, but that didn't stop me from not liking this.
The Screaming Skull
This is honestly one of the worst films I've ever seen on MST3K, though it's hard to explain why, because it's not bad in the way most of them are. It's not overly stupid or incompetent, and the acting isn't terrible, but the plot is just sooooo slow and boring and pretty much pointless overall. Plus the main character has no spine or even basic intelligence, and the ending's a goofy copout. The riffing kept me from turning it off, but I won't be watching that episode again.
All I know about the movie was pulled form James' Monster Madness review:
Even with the MST3K commentary, which is hilarious, I have to concur that the movie itself is utterly boring. Like, if I were to watch it on its own, it would've put me to sleep.
Wishmaster 2: Evil Never Dies
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