Mediawiki title MediaWiki logo
 
Personal tools

Drew Pickles

From Chewiki: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas

Jump to: navigation, search
CharNice.jpg This article is filed under Characters.

This is the secret missing article of the Chewiki.

Bdrew.gif

His name is Drew Pickles, and today he going to show you his Chewiki page.

Name: Drew Pickles
Appears In: Rugrats, Barney Bunch
Sex: Male
Nationality: American
Occupation(s): Accountant, Investment Banker, Gay Porn Celebrity
Played By: Michael Bell, Microsoft Sam

Drew Pickles is a character from Rugrats and is, with out a shadow of a doubt, the biggest homosexual in the world. His gayness rivals even that of Gay Luigi. Drew constantly desires to have sex with men, shove things up his ass, and drink unhealthy amounts of semen. He is also a fast food connoisseur, as evidenced by several videos on YouTube.

Information

Penis Size

It is unknown how big Drew's penis really is. Many speculate that it is at least 300 miles in length, while other sources say that it could be well over that. Some theorize that the size Drew's penis could actually be growing infinitely, much like the universe. Yet some say it could even be bigger than Dopply's cock. It is also unknown how he manages to keep it in his pants and keep it from ripping the man he is fucking to shreds. One thing is for certain though, it's a huge fucking dick.

Hobbies

As stated before, Drew Pickles loves gay sex, and it's made quite clear that he will do anything to get some. This includes rape, assault, and is most likely not beyond killing his victims before having sex with their corpse. He is also into coprophagia.

Outside of gay sex, he also enjoys traveling. Especially to restaurants. Although once he gets there it is not unlikely that he will start requesting menu items to have shit or cum on them. And god forbid that you deny his request, unless you enjoy having an asshole the size of a small planet. And fate especially does not bode well for you if you are the establishment's manager...


The Drew Pickles Show

The Drew Pickles Show (also known as Drew Pickles and the Barney Bunch) was a cancelled 1999 sketch comedy show in which Drew, along with guest stars such as Barney the Dinosaur and Ronald McDonald, would travel to various locations and engage in sexual intercourse with random bystanders and was intended to air on Comedy Central. The then-president of Comedy Central expressed concern mainly with Barney's appearance on the show, as Viacom did not own the character nor did they want children to be negatively influenced by his conduct on the show, and asked Drew to remove him as a guest star. Drew then reportedly threatened to "rape (the president) so hard like hoihoihoifaghoifaghoifaghoihoihoishwshwshwshwblupblupblupblup", leading not only to the show's cancellation but also Drew being sentenced to a year in prison. Only one episode was produced but was never aired and is presumed lost.

Quotes

  • "Hello, my name is Drew Pickles."
  • "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAFAGHAFAGHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHFAGHAHAHAHAFAGAHAHAHAHAHAH!"
  • "Bag, that was swell."
  • "I will show you the true definition of a sick fuck!"
  • "OOOH, SAAANTA, WON'T YOU COME IN?"
  • "OH, HERE COMES DONALD fuck."
  • "I WILL BE THE ONE TO FILL YOUR DARK ASSHOLE, WITH SEMEN."
  • "ANGELICA!"
  • "Chas, you were a tree."
  • "Honesty is always the best policy."
  • "Yes, the stork! A big ugly bird with... feathers."
  • "I think you've been watching too many cartoons."

Trivia

  • Is obsessed with having 47 pizzas being in his house.
  • Is a fan of Marvel vs. Capcom 2. For real, yo.
  • Has starred in over 69,000 pornographic films.
  • If you don't eat his broccoli, you won't get seconds for dessert.
  • Uses various objects as dildis.
  • Is a very good rapper, for a white guy.
  • Is also the bro of Stu Pickles.
  • In the inaugural 1st Youchew Hungry Games, he was killed by the Duke of Wellington, with his own weapon, at that.
  • Drew wanted to be a stripper, but lacked the education to do so. Now he has to repeat kindergarten. Clearly, nobody told the principal about Drew's love of shota...
  • Despite being notorious for his extreme homosexuality, Drew Pickles has a wife and a daughter. However, after a little bit of research, famed doctor Martin Ssempa discovered that his "wife" is a man, and his daughter? She was created when Drew's feminine side somehow became sentient. Losing what little femininity he had naturally made Drew's penis even larger, so he considers it a plus.
  • Once got severely angry about his daughter, Angelica, going missing, this pissed Drew off so badly that he began to fuck his brother, Stu, in the ass and choke him.
  • Once had a nightmare about his daughter, Angelica, suing him for being a bad father and (not to mention) raping so many males.

See also