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Guile

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722px-Guile animated movie.jpg

Bison's arse is his!

Name: Colonel William F. Guile, USAF
Appears In: Street Fighter
Sex: Male
Age: 28 (in Street Fighter Alpha 3)
Nationality: American
Occupation(s): US Air Force Colonel/captain/fighter
Played By: Kirk Thornton, Michael Donovan, Unsho Ishizuka, Travis Willingham, Jean-Claude Van Damme

Captain Guile is a character from Street Fighter, although it seems to reckon he is a Colonel.

Backstory

Captain Guile isn't known to do anything worthy, until the time when M. Bison unleashed the almighty Bison's Arse, in which case, the world turned to Guile to stop him. He wanted Bison's Arse anyway for killing his bum-buddy Charlie (Or Nash, reports differ). Guile eventually won the battle, blowing Bison's Arse to bits by ramming a Sonic Boom up it. He then proceeded to serve the broken posterior as a new meat product.

All was well until June 2007...

On that month, reports came in and Guile was called in to learn a disturbing fact. Bison's Arse had returned, this time as a separate entity. Guile, already narked off at being brought out of retirement, was even more annoyed to learn half his team had either retired, were retarded, were stoned or stone dead, so he formed a new team consisting of himself, Terry Bogard, Chun-Li and some other guy (Whom he had to threaten with death if he didn't get on the plane). Their mission was to head to Bison's Arse's base and eliminate him, quickly and quietly. The mission ended in utter failure when Chris had a heart attack on the plane, which Bison's Arse noticed and the posterior of pain proceeded to give Guile an offer - join him and be the greatest face in his arse or DIE. Guile responded with a defiant "Fuck YOU Bison!", so Bison's arse, in a show of force, killed instantly Chris with a blast of Psycho Power. Guile, Chun-Li and Terry escaped. It was confirmed that none of the survivors suffered too much damage after Terry asked them 'HARR YOU HOOKAAAY?!'.

Later, Guile was court-martialed for the death of Chris, who was very close to a Lieutenant General in the Air Force. He was spared death, luckily but was dismissed from the Air Force, and became an angry, embittered man, who now lived in solitude, perfecting the art of eating biscuits without getting crumbs on the napkin.

Quotes

Dance, Guile, dance!
Guile after getting beaten up.
Guile Guile

Just get in the plane!

Guile Guile

These are the plane's last known coordinates.

Guile Guile

Bison's Ass is mine!

Guile Guile

This Russian bear... is built like a tank!

Guile Guile

BISON! I'll rip your fucking heart out you filthy bastard!

Guile Guile

SOOONIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIC BOOM!

Guile Guile

BLANKA! NOT THE HEAD BITE!!

Guile Guile

No! NO!! NOOO!!!

Guile Guile

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Guile Guile

FULAASH KICK!!

Guile Guile

Go home and be a family man.

Guile Guile

I don't need guns! Guns are for wimps!

Guile Guile

Guns are a no-no!

Guile Guile

Are you bad enough to fight with me?

Guile Guile

BISONNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!

Guile Guile

Justice. Commitment. Discipline.

Guile Guile

...Discipline?

Guile Guile

Call it a... wake-up-call.

Guile Guile

LIAR!!!!!

Guile Guile

Get your cute little butt out of here!

Guile Guile

Real fighters know how to leave showboating at the door!

Guile Guile

Do... your best.

Guile Guile

Some moron just canned me.

Guile Guile

Bison, you're off the air.

Guile Guile

Our superiors say the war is cancelled. We can all go home. Bison is getting paid up for his crimes and our friends will have died here, but.. we can all go home. Meanwhile, ideals like peace, freedom, and justice.. they get packed up; but... we can all go home. Well, I'm not going home. I'm gonna get on my boat, I'm gonna go up river and I'm going to kick that son of a bitch Bison's Arse! so hard, that the next Bison wannabe is gonna FEEL IT! Now who wants to go home... and who WANTS TO GO WITH ME?!!!

Trivia

  • When Sonic Boom is reversed, it is indeed pronounced Whoop Gaynus.
  • When in doubt, he uses Sonic Boom to solve problems
  • Wants to rip Bison's fucking heart out, the filthy bastard.
  • Tends to get upset if people don't get in his plane.
  • Is NOT in love with Chun-Li (Seriously, he doesn't even want to look at her), although he did say that she had a cute butt. That's great.
  • Is married to Lucinda (Or Jane, reports differ).
  • Wants to kick Bison's Arse so HARD, that the next M. Bison wannabe will feel it
  • Has a kick ass theme song that goes with everything.
  • Has a gay cool haircut, which is actually a monster.
  • He is consequently the only person capable of subduing or outright eliminating Neji. But he's on leave so let's not bother him with that.
  • Despite his amazing martial arts skills, 2 people have been able to defeat Guile. These 2 being M.Bison and Charlie, his old friend.
  • He once thought that Earthquake from the Samurai Shodown/Spirits series was a disgrace to all Americans.
  • Has magic eyebrows that are capable of becoming black, blonde, and sometimes invisible.
  • He KNOWS that Bison likes doo loogad himself on de delavision. That seeck sunnufa beesh.
  • Even though he's enemies with M. Bison, he once had sex with him.
  • Made a really late entry into the Marvel Vs. Capcom series in Marvel Vs. Capcom 2: New Age of Heroes. He also didn't appear in Tatsunoko vs. Capcom or Namco x Capcom.
  • On the other hand, he made his appearance in every SNK Vs. Capcom game involved.
  • He really hated when Michael Jackson died, seen in the video to the right.
  • Rugal Bernstein owns a statue of Guile. However, Guile destroyed it with his sonic boom. What a douchebag to his own self.
  • Cammy once flustered him by asking if he had ever seen her in a bikini. When Blanka teased him about this, Guile demanded that he get in the plane.