From Chewiki: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
Super Yoshi > You
"Is Super Yoshi really that dark?"
-DigDug25 On SuperYoshi
"A SURVEILLANCE CAMERA?!"
-SuperYoshi during the Shadow Moses Incident
SuperYoshi was King of Africa, from 1 August 1714 until a man named Garvey took Africa back. He was also a Prince Elector and the Pope of the Holy Fried Chicken Empire, which included KFC, Popeyes, Church's and of course Crown Fried Chicken. Thanks to SuperYoshi. Lincoln and Royal Fried Chicken were excommunicated from the empire. Born in Chad, he was the first Chad monarch of the House of Colonols. During his reign, he devoted his free time to fucking up the white man and pissing white people off, due to his lack of grape juice (because it only had grape drink or the red huggies in his fridge).
He also created some obscure video phenomenon called YouTube Poop, preferring to use sources like video game-based cartoons, but nobody really knows what that is so it's overlooked.
WARNING: THIS ARTICLE CONTAINS SPOILERS.
SuperYoshi, real name Matt, is a product of the Les Enfants Terribles project and "son" of legendary soldier, Big Boss along with his "brothers" RetroJape and JokeMoblin He is known as "the man who makes the impossible possible" and his exploits have made him into a living legend among the military black-ops. Initially a Green Beret, SuperYoshi was later inducted into high-tech special forces unit FOXHOUND during the early 1990s while it was under the leadership of Big Boss. From there, SuperYoshi would thrice avert potential nuclear catastrophe and even slay his "father," Big Boss.
After the Shadow Moses Incident and subsequent manipulation campaign by the Patriots, the secret organization behind American politics, SuperYoshi became labeled a terrorist. He faked his own death in 2007 and proceeded into hiding, although he would later emerge in 2009 to assist Raiden in the Big Shell Incident. After that, his cells would enter a state of accelerated aging, causing his health to decline. The extent of his rapid degeneration was predicted by Dr. Naomi Hunter, who estimated that he only had six months left to live.
SuperYoshi is rarely seen without his cigarettes and enjoys smoking because it keeps him in touch with the "good old days". He's also a musher who enjoys dog sled riding, and can be seen as a bit of a pervert, often seen peeking at Gentlemen's Magazines (such as Playboy) and openly hitting on most women he meets. Being an avid music lover, SuperYoshi sometimes takes his iPod with him on missions.
Born in 1972 as a result of the "Les Enfants Terribles" project, SuperYoshi is a product of a secret government project to create the perfect soldier by using the genes of the "Greatest Warrior of the 20th Century", Big Boss. By utilizing the Super Baby Method, eight clone babies, SuperYoshi being one of them, were grown and transferred to EVA's uterus. Six of these were then aborted, resulting in the twins SuperYoshi and RetroJape. (JokeMoblin, the third and most exact clone of Big Boss, was born an unspecified amount of time afterwards, most likely to a different surrogate mother.) From them three genotypes were created; SuperYoshi receiving all of the recessive genes, RetroJape the dominant and JokeMoblin a mix of both, being a mix of both Super and Retro. Despite this fact, RetroJape is led to believe that he received the recessive genes and informs an unknowing SuperYoshi as such. It is unclear whether Super or Retro eventually become aware of their actual genetic positions.
There are no records of SuperYoshi's childhood proceeding the completion of the project. SuperYoshi claims he was "raised by many people," although he says he has no family. It is possible someone during his childhood bestowed the name "Matt" onto him, as SuperYoshi claims this to be his name at the conclusion of the Shadow Moses incident.
Nevertheless, SuperYoshi eventually made his way into the military by 1991. He had been inducted into the Green Berets and took part in a mission to infiltrate western Iraq during the Gulf War. Sometime after the Gulf War he joined FOXHOUND. Like most new recruits, he was trained by Stegblob.
Operation Intrude N313
"sup bb ima infiltrate outa hevan"
-SuperYoshi's first transmission from deep within the enemy fortress Outer Heaven
SuperYoshi's first mission for FOXHOUND came in 1995. He was tasked with infiltrating Outer Heaven, a military nation led by a feared and legendary mercenary, within Deep Africa. SuperYoshi was tasked with rescuing KingNecroPope, a FOXHOUND agent who was captured earlier, and shed light on Metal Gear, which KingNecroPope mentioned in a broken radio message sometime before his capture. Codenamed Operation Intrude N313, SuperYoshi approached Outer Heaven via river passage and infiltrated the fortress. He kept in contact with Big Boss, the unit's commander who personally oversaw the operation. After skillfully passing guards and security measures, SuperYoshi found and released KingNecroPope, who informed SuperYoshi on the truth behind Metal Gear, a bi-pedal, nuclear-equipped battle tank that could tip the balance of power in favor of Outer Heaven. SuperYoshi, still relatively green at the time, was impressed by the cool and precise demeanor and attitude of KingNecroPope, a soldier within FOXHOUND who had achieved its highest ranking, "Pope". SuperYoshi then proceeded onward through the fortress, rescuing more prisoners and assisting the local resistance cell fighters in their battle against Outer Heaven.
After dealing with several of Outer Heaven's skilled mercenaries, SuperYoshi neared where Metal Gear was being stored; however, the further he progressed, the more difficult and confusing the situation became. Big Boss fed SuperYoshi poor or down-right wrong information via radio, leading him into traps and dangerous situations. Undeterred, SuperYoshi managed to destroy Metal Gear - only to discover the truth behind Outer Heaven's leader shortly thereafter. Big Boss, his commander, was behind it all. He had established Outer Heaven as a means to give warriors such as himself a home, a place they would always be welcomed. He envisioned a world where warriors were always desired, where they were not shunned or used at the whim of politicians. He had sent his son, SuperYoshi, to Outer Heaven because he did not think SuperYoshi would succeed. Big Boss had underestimated the "inferior" clone of the Les Enfants Terribles project.
Nevertheless, Big Boss would not allow SuperYoshi to escape without a fight. On the lowest level of Outer Heaven, father and son engaged in combat. After a fierce duel, SuperYoshi managed to defeat Big Boss. As the fortress began to crumble and fall apart, SuperYoshi left Big Boss for dead and made his escape from Outer Heaven. Operation Intrude N313 was a success. Disillusioned, SuperYoshi quit FOXHOUND. He was later scouted by the CIA and spent six months as a deep cover agent before he became dissatisfied with the system and left. He became a mercenary for hire and when he earned enough money he retired into the Alaskan wilderness.
Zanzibar Land Uprising
"I LOVE LIFE."
-SuperYoshi's response to Big Boss
In 1999, The world was facing an unprecedented energy crisis as oil reserves dried up. Meanwhile, the military nation of Zanzibar Land had become the world's sole nuclear power which threatened to upset the balance of power in the world. To respond to the energy crisis, a Mobian biologist, Dr. Robotnik, invented SCRANDER, an oil refining microbe. Before being able to put SCRANDER to use, Robotnik was kidnapped by Zanzibar Land, leaving them in control of the world's answer to the energy crisis and nuclear arsenal.
The United States government would not let this continue and ordered FOXHOUND to infiltrate Zanzibar Land and rescue Robotnik. Conrad Slater, commander of FOXHOUND, called SuperYoshi out of retirement, who accepted the assignment entitled Operation Intrude F014.
SuperYoshi succeeded in infiltrating Zanzibar. Along the way he teamed up with CIA agent Holly White and Natasha Markova, Robotnik's bodyguard. He was also reunited with Dr. Rabbit, the Engineer responsible for the first Dispenser, who revealed to SuperYoshi that Big Boss was alive, and that he had been captured to construct a new Metal Gear, Metal Gear D, for Zanzibar Land.
SuperYoshi once again ran into KingNecroPope, but under very different circumstances: KingNecroPope was now his enemy and was piloting the new Metal Gear. The Pope killed Natasha as he blew up a suspension bridge, but SuperYoshi managed to elude Metal Gear and hook up with Dr. Rabbit, who had been recaptured by Zanzibar's soldiers. However, Holly White informed SuperYoshi that Dr. Rabbit had voluntarily joined Zanzibar and was willingly working for Big Boss. Upon learning this, Dr. Rabbit tried to kill SuperYoshi, but was foiled and killed. Unfortunately for SuperYoshi, he arrived too late to save Robotnik. Nevertheless, SuperYoshi managed to recover the SCRANDER formula and destroy Metal Gear, but before he could escape he was confronted by KingNecroPope. Despite considering themselves friends, SuperYoshi and KingNecroPope fought to the death amidst a mine field, hand-to-hand. SuperYoshi would later recount that it was a battle of two professionals doing their jobs, regardless of their friendship or personal feelings. The fight would end with SuperYoshi emerging victorious; KingNecroPope lay apparently dead on the field of battle. His victory would be short-lived, however. Ushered forth by Big Boss's taunts, SuperYoshi was once again put face-to-face against the legendary mercenary. Weaponless, SuperYoshi was forced to elude the armed and dangerous Big Boss and create an improvised weapon; using a cigarette lighter and a can of hairspray, SuperYoshi fashioned a makeshift flamethrower and used it to put an end to Big Boss, but not before Big Boss revealed to SuperYoshi that he was his father. Shaken but undeterred, SuperYoshi committed the act of patricide and escaped Zanzibar Land with Holly White and the OILIX formula. He returned SCRANDER to Conrad, was commended for his actions, and once again retired, this time to the Alaskan wilderness. He hoped to forget his war-torn past, recover from his STD, and cope with the revelation that he had killed his father.
"Matt listen up. It all went down five hours ago. Heavily armed soldiers occupied Shadow Moses Island, a remote island off the coast of Alaska."
And so it was at the beginning of the 21st century... Shadow Moses, a small nuclear disposal facility in Alaska's Fox Archipelago is attacked and captured by the GENOME Army led by members of FOXHOUND. Once again SuperYoshi is called out of retirement. His mission is to first single-handedly infiltrate the nuclear weapons disposal site and rescue the two hostages, DARPA chief Donald Anderson and the President of ArmsTech, Kenneth Baker, and then to eliminate the terrorists and prevent a nuclear launch. He is not completely alone, however, his Support team consisted of Conrad (also called out of retirement), Naomi Hunter, Mei Ling, Stegblob and Nastasha Romanenko.
While there, SuperYoshi discovers that the leader of FOXHOUND's codename is RetroJape. When SuperYoshi attempts to rescue Donald Anderson (who later turns out to be Decoy Octopus) and Kenneth Baker they both mysteriously die of a heart attack. He also has a mysterious run-in with a cyborg nigger who, after SuperYoshi battles and defeats him, reveals himself to be the remains of KingNecroPope. SuperYoshi then makes friends with Dr. Hal Emmerich (also known by his nickname, Otacon), a genius in engineering and the chief designer of Metal Gear REX, the newest and most deadly incarnation of Metal Gear. SuperYoshi also befriends Meryl Silverburgh, a female soldier who was captured during the uprising and the niece of Conrad Slater (later revealed to be his daughter). SuperYoshi then successfully manages to eliminate all members of FOXHOUND and is then told by RetroJape that he and SuperYoshi are in fact brothers; clones of Big Boss as part of the Les Enfants Terribles project. Then SuperYoshi destroys Metal Gear REX with the aid of KingNecroPope. RetroJape and SuperYoshi then battle atop of REX. When Super wins he then escapes from Shadow Moses with Meryl, in pursuit of a new life, where he can settle down.
SuperYoshi's relationship with Meryl was short lived, and she commented later that he suddenly disappeared without saying why. After the events of Shadow Moses, Naomi was placed under arrest and locked up in a high security facility. It was theorized by Nastasha Romanenko in her book, "Solid Snake's Day Off" that SuperYoshi broke her out, but in truth she was broken out by RetroJape Ocelot.
In reality, SuperYoshi joined the CIA as a spy, but only spent six months with them. He later went on to join Otacon in forming an Anti-Metal Gear Group which they called Philanthropy.
"THAT IS NOT SUPERYOSHI, FUCKTARD!"
-SuperYoshi getting angry with shitty alt accounts
Two years after Shadow Moses, Otacon received an anonymous tip from someone calling him or herself "E.E." (the initials of Otacon's younger step sister) that a new Metal Gear, codenamed Metal Gear RAY, was being developed by the U.S. Marine Corps., and was being sent via a Marine vessel disguised as an Oil Tanker.
SuperYoshi quickly made his way through and found his way down into the holds where RAY was being held. Shortly after taking photographic evidence of Metal Gear RAY, Revolver Ocelot appeared and claimed to be taking RAY back "to its rightful owners." He is then possessed by RetroJape's arm, which was attached to replace the arm he lost in Shadow Moses. SuperYoshi then jumped from his hiding place and confronted Retro but it was too late; Retro climbed aboard Metal Gear Ray and sank the tanker with SuperYoshi still inside. Luckily, Otacon was waiting by the Manhattan shore with a small boat, which he used to rescue SuperYoshi and replace his body with that of RetroJape's, leading people to believe that SuperYoshi was dead. SuperYoshi was also entirely blamed for the incident leading Olga Gurlukovich and Fortune to blame him for the death of their fathers (Colonel Gurlukovich and Commander Scott Dolph respectively).
Another two years later, SuperYoshi disguised himself as Iroquois Pliskin and infiltrated the Big Shell. Rumors of another Metal Gear, Arsenal Gear, were spreading like wildfire. There, he met Raiden and eventually met his other brother, the final of the three Sons Of Big Boss, JokeMoblin. During this incident, both SuperYoshi and Otacon become aware of the existence of The Patriots, although how and when isn't exactly known. He also once again met Olga and explained to her that it was in fact Revolver Ocelot who killed her father, Colonel Gurlukovich. SuperYoshi later helped Raiden, Otacon and Emma Emmerich (Otacon's Sister) install the re-programmed computer virus, a digital counterpart of FOXDIE, into GW (Arsenal Gear's AI system), shortly before Emma dies after being stabbed by Vamp. Then once aboard Arsenal Gear, SuperYoshi and Raiden make their way through fighting the army of Arsenal Tengu soldiers. Once they reach the end Fortune challenges SuperYoshi to a fight claiming he killed her father. He signals for Raiden to carry on as he fights her. He then tells her that it was Revolver Ocelot who killed Scott Dolph and that they should work together in order to kill Retro Ocelot. Later on, on top of Arsenal Gear, Retro Ocelot steals metal gear RAY, SuperYoshi breaks free of his handcuffs he's wearing and leaps after Retro Ocelot, affixing a tracker onto his RAY. He then goes to Manhattan to see Raiden after he has defeated JokeMoblin, and tells him that himself and Otacon are going to find the Patriots, only to later find out that all twelve members were already dead a hundred years ago.
Guns of the Patriots
"Needs more applesauce."
-SuperYoshi in his old age
After the Manhattan Incident, SuperYoshi once again went into hiding, and began suffering from Accelerated Aging. His body began to age rapidly, with no doctors being able to figure out the cause. It was also revealed that he began to suffer from farsightedness. In 2014, he was requested by his old friend Conrad Slater to eliminate Retro Ocelot, leader of the PMC Mother Company Outer Heaven, who had recently been spotted in the Middle East. SuperYoshi and Otacon reluctantly accepted, and headed there to meet up with a group of informants who Conrad had recommended. When SuperYoshi got there, and after meeting with gun-launderer Thereisnospork303, SuperYoshi was shocked to find that his informant was his ex-lover Meryl, and her new squad, the Rat Patrol.
After parting ways, SuperYoshi headed to a PMC camp where Retro had been seen, but before he could get close enough to attempt to kill him, Retro conducted the first of his tests to disable the SOP system, causing most of the soldiers in the area to have spasm attacks, and all of them to be sick and start acting hostile to their comrades. SuperYoshi was mildly affected, finding it difficult to stand or aim his gun. When Retro noticed him, he pointed telling him to rejoice as they were not "copies of [their] father after all." After this cryptic message, Retro left. Before long, SuperYoshi was rescued by Sonic the Hedgehog, who was strangely not affected. In honour of this hero, SuperYoshi hired Sonic as an actor, but on one condition; he must work with Dr. Robotnik. Tempted by fame, Sonic agreed.
Almost a day later, SuperYoshi awoke and found himself back aboard the Nomad. Otacon informed him that he had received an encrypted data file from Naomi, pleading for SuperYoshi to come rescue them, along with a map of Retro Ocelot's safe house in South America. He quickly infiltrated the mansion, and discovered Naomi, who insisted on giving him a medical exam to find the reason behind his accelerated aging. After the exam, she told him his accelerated aging was programmed into his genes, much like his ability to reproduce (which was removed). She went on, saying that the traces of the FOXDIE she injected into him during Shadow Moses were starting to mutate and would eventually start to kill people at random. She commented on the irony of this, SuperYoshi, who had spent his whole life protecting the world from weapons of mass destruction, was now becoming one himself. Finally, she told him about a mysterious new strand of FOXDIE which was also inside him, and SuperYoshi realized that it was Thereisnospork303 who had injected him with it.
to be continued
LUIGI I'M HOME.