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Fred Phelps

From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
CharNice.jpg This article is filed under Characters.

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He looks pretty ridiculous in that windbreaker.

Name: Fred Waldron Phelps Sr.
Sex: Male
Age: 84
Nationality: American
Occupation(s): Self-titled "Hero of justice"
Played By: Himself

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Fred Phelps was the decrepit, extremist leader of the Westboro Baptist Church cult. He preached that God hates America, vile land of the sodomite damned. It is the most ungrateful and the most arrogant, anti-God nation that ever existed. Amen.

While there's no doubt Phelps was evil, there was also a certain hilarity to the cantankerous nutcase rambling in his sermons about how everyone outside of his church is going to Hell. This would see him gain popularity as a YouTube Poop source, and established him as the foe of Wheel Gator. The Phelps-Gator rivalry was explored particularly thoroughly on YouChew.

Things Done For Humanity[edit]

Let it be known that Fred Phelps has done a great deal for man-kind. He has stopped Ganon repeatedly in the past and has slain many a Vice President. He is also in Terminator: Salvation.

Trivia[edit]

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Fred Phelps' arch-nemesis: David Willis.

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  • Every person who dies splits Hell wide open.
  • Jon Stewart's comedian sidekick is WHEEL GATOR.
  • He wants free popcorn.
  • He thinks every problem in America is due to buttsex.
  • Uses homosexuality as a scapegoat to pretty much everything
  • Is sexist because he told his wife to "Get back in the kitchen".
  • His son is NOT Michael Phelps, the nine-time gold medal winner in the Beijing 2008 Olympics.
  • He is banned from entering the United Kingdom.
  • One time, he actually supported the works of Saddam Hussein.
    • Then again, when Saddam was executed, he stated that Saddam was now in Hell.
      • The rest of that sermon was him ranting about how Gerald Ford was suffering far worse in Hell than Saddam.
  • He thinks every true Christian should earn a law degree.
  • He also thinks Lady Gaga has a "whore’s forehead".
  • He's an Eagle Scout as a kid.
  • His mother died when he was six.
  • He was a drug addict back in the '70s.
  • The Ku Klux Klan thinks he's insane. It's telling how fringe Phelps was that even other extremist groups distanced themselves from him.
  • He sued Ronald Reagan for appointing a U.S. ambassador to the Vatican, saying this violated separation of church and state.
  • He ran for Governor of Kansas three different times, coming in dead last every single time. Serves him right!
  • He's a movie star! Why did he never get an Oscar?
  • Actually had a massive change of heart in his last years, causing him to be excommunicated from his own church.
  • Ironically enough, he is now in Hell himself. (PRAISE BE TO YEVON)

Quotes[edit]

Fred becoming the Hulk.
  • YOU'RE GONNA EAT YOUR BABIES.
  • THERE WAS OLD BUSH, CRITICIZING CHINA BECAUSE THEY DON'T LET THEIR PEOPLE HAVE FREEDOM OF RELIGION AND SPEECH, AND BRAGGING THAT AMERICA DOES. YEAH.
  • GOD HATES GENITALS!
  • YOU TWEAKED HIS NOSE YOU JACKASS!
  • P-please Jon... Not so hard!

Used By[edit]