INCREDIBLE LASER SWORD

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In Brief

The Incredible Laser Sword is a crack team of commandos who specialize with the use of advanced battle mech technology. They have a wide range of skills, much like the A-Team or FOXHOUND.

Their recruitment procedures are unknown, and most data on their personnel and operations is classified.

History

Early History

After the fall of the Berlin Wall, some time during the confusion of the formation of numerous terrorist cells, mercenary units, government agencies, and animation companies, the ILS is believed to have been formed by a small group of friends watching Voltes V clips on Youtube. These reports, along with most reports about the ILS, remain unconfirmed.

Operational History

The most detailed account of their operational history is here.

There have been reports released by US SOCOM and the Department of Defense stating that The ILS was deployed and highly active in the first Gulf War, where they successfully destroyed enemy armor units with their reputed incredible laser swords. Their reputations as elite soldiers spread quickly through the ranks of the forces deployed there, earning the ILS nicknames such as "The Demon Otakus."

Later, they were rumored to have operated in Zanzibar Land, a remote country near Pakistan, however these reports have been unconfirmed. Reportedly, their operation there saw their first casualty. It is believed that the ILS has disavowed any knowledge of this fallen member of the team. Rumors of a casualty only surfaced after part of the team (Nuthead and Rakninja) rambled drunkenly in a bar following their return from the mission. It is possible, however, that it was simply a misperception that Nuthead said, "It was terrible when those bastards dropped poor Jack," when in reality he said, "It's terrible 'cause those bastards ruined my flapjacks."

The ILS remains active even today, in the Los Angles underground as well as possibly operating out of a base in Mexico.


Current Members

The following is a list of currently known and active members of the team and their skills.

  • RabbitSnore: Bartender, sniper, master of disguise and interrogation, as well as a formidable gunfighter.
  • Crash2991: Intelligence officer.
  • Rakninja: Master cleaner of toilets, mech repairman. Was considered by some to be the "greatest soldier in the 20th century" and a brilliant military leader. He was hailed as a war hero by admirers and feared as a tyrant by his enemies.
  • NS2: Tactical espionage action, assassination. Known not to be a hero, just an old killer, sent in to do some wetwork.
  • TheHappyFungus: Tactical driving of the team van.
  • Nuthead: Front line infantry.
  • MarkieV101: Unknown. Last seen in Angel Grove, California, under the guise of a door-to-door salesman.
  • strong414bad: Forgotten.
  • MAZZ0Murder: FNG.
  • SonicNerd23: Has no rank.

The NEW INCREDIBLE LASER SWORD

Five years after their last mission, Solid NS2 peacefully rested in his home after stopping Liquid Dopply COX from world domination. However NS2 wasn't the only member who was out of the group; Nuthead was last seen in a trench in Zamzibar Land hiding from Arufonzu Wolf who she was ready to snipe the man, Markie mysteriously disappeared and SonicNerd23 quit to be a journalist of the New York Gazette. With being the lowest that the group has ever hit, they did not realise that it would sink lower. Revolver ChrisGendolot sneaky recruited Dr. Happy Fungus and MAZZ while the ILS was having a depressed boozeup to remember the lost members. Big Rabbit discovered next morning a letter from Mooglenova stating that ChrisGendolot would give up Dr. Happy Fungus and MAZZ for secrets to the Alaskian nuclear missile technology so Japan can become the master country of the world, Big Rabbit naturally refused so he wrote a letter back saying that he will never give the secrets to anyone. Luckily though Crash was spying on a nearby apartment avoiding getting caught by waring a cardboard box on his head and founded out that the weakness was that they loved playing tennis as well as liking the anime on which Crashacon loved and reported to Rabbit who decided to challenge Revolver ChrisGendolot.

Strong scouted for new members of the ILS to replace the two that they lost, first they found VvaluigiAFox who was heavily rumored to be a relation to Gray WolfieTheFox was quickly trained to be a new DRUNKENFOXHOUND operative. The second that they wanted was Furn McGuire the last surviving member of the Dvariano 233 - Colonel Stryder's own ship, however he was in a different mission so he got his Deeperican suit and disappeared to the unknown. On a strange turn of events, D.P. Yoshi was a friend of Mr. McGuire and wanted to follow in his footsteps, however being weaker than even a DRUNKENFOXHOUND trainee could not join the groups due to that they will laugh at his disability for not able to use the high powered equipment so Strong found him as they weren't anyone else left. However D.P. Yoshi proved to have great talent in the lesser equipment to prove that rubbish machinery can be as good as the expensive machinery. With the team set up, the existing members were impressed on the two recruits and vowed to stop ChrisGendolot and get the lost members back.

So YOU Want to Join the INCREDIBLE LASER SWORD

Propaganda Video copyright 1974:

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