Link

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Name: Link
Appears In: The Legend of Zelda
Sex: Male
DOB: 1984 (age 36–37)
Occupation(s): Hero, Goober, boi, main course (when mashed)
Played By: Nobuyuki Hiyama, Akira Sasanuma (Nintendo games), Jonathan Potts (cartoon), Jeffrey Rath (CD-i)

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Link upon winning something, like his quest or Monopoly.
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Link in his latest game.
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Saiyan Link.
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Fat Link.
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Your sword is enough.
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Link owned a Chinese Restaurant at one time.
Link, King Harkinian, Gwonam, and Zelda when they finally have their acclaimed dinner.
Link being his usual old self.
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Link in the '80s.

Link is a civilian of Hyrule, who in times of crisis works as the Hero. He usually hangs out at the castle, hearing bouts about what makes true warriors by the King himself. Link thinks many things are boring, and according to the Scripture of Utter Bullshit, is the only person who can defeat Ganon. (Many times this prophecy has been proven false. The King, Mario, and Zelda along with many others have defeated Ganon.)

Link is the current standing Hero of Hyrule. He was preceded by himself and will be succeeded by himself. His CD-i generation is represented on Youchew Trading Card #3.

Skills

Link is skilled in the art of combat, and is a master swordsman and marksman. As mentioned below he has above average cooking skills and he is great at using/wielding magical weaponry. He has the ability to carry a limitless amount of stuff, as well as being able to use ordinary items such as Aunt Jemima syrup in combat. He is an adept of the legendary Duckwalk maneuver. Cool, huh?

On the other hand, he sucks at using crossbows, has questionable intelligence and poor social skills.

Diet

Link also likes to eat. He has been known to have some cooking skill, but he almost burned down all of Hyrule after foolishly putting spaghetti in a toaster. He is also addicted to Volvic mineral water, and cakes (normally from the baker in Sakado, although the claimed "cakes" are actually loaves of bread. That two-timing S.O.B.). He has also been known to sneak sips of wine from the king's goblet. If he gets hungry enough, he will eat an Octorok.

Sexual Orientation

It has been assumed Link is a homosexual, seeing has he has tried to sneak kisses with Gwonam at multiple times. However, this has been disproven as he has had sex with Zelda, Impa, and Lady Alma many times. Another rumor is that he is bisexual, or even asexual and doesn't really care (Like an amoeba).

Still, he did enjoy that hug from Cremia quite a bit...

Possessions

  • His Sword
  • Lamp Oil
  • Rope
  • Bombs
  • A Lightsaber
  • Lotsa Guns
  • Young & Anal 15 video tape
  • The King's Chalice
  • Boomerang
  • Bow & Arrow
  • Various Masks
  • Iron Boots
  • An Octorok

Likes

Dislikes

Memorable Quotes

Link Link

...

Link Link

I won!

Link Link

Gee! It sure is boring around here!

Link Link

What are all those heads?

Link Link

I guess I better get going!

Link Link

I'm so hungry, I could eat an octorok!

Link Link

Great! I'll grab my stuff!

Link Link

Hey! Excuuuuuuse me, Princess!

Link Link

I can't wait to bomb some dodongos!

Link Link

That old King is no match for Ganon!

Link Link

I just wonder what Ganon's up to.

Link Link

Golly!

Link Link

It's a Gohma!

Link Link

(Hey,) EXCUUUUUUUUSE ME, Princess!

Link Link

Fine, jeez!

Link Link

Remember me?

Link Link

I wish I could see what he was thinking right now.

Link Link

I just wonder what Bali's up to.

Link Link

Don't worry Princess, the cavalry's on the way.

Link Link

Looks like we're in trouble, princess! (Said in a African-like voice.)

Link Link

(After seeing the 90's Kid using his Sega Genesis like a boombox.) I guess I better get rid of this Sega!

Link Link

That old King is EVIL!

Link Link

Has one and one consumption?

Link Link

It's quite an army of Heart.

Link Link

Oh boy! I'm a boy!

Link Link

Don't talk shit, you didn't do anything!

Link Link

Fuck you, King! I'm on strike!

Link Link

I'm gay!

Link Link

That old Ganon's boring and the King is gay!

Link Link

When I'm crouching, you can make me do the duck walk!

Link Link

You wanna fight, fat boy?! I'll piss on your head!

Link Link

What happened?

Link Link

Great!

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Link's older brother, Link.
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Trivia

  • Link is part Saiyan, or part Aryan. Same thing.
  • Has been reincarnated multiple times, and is rumored to be the next Dalai Lama.
  • Link plays Young Cosette in the musical "Les CD-i".
  • Used to be the Best Wii Player of Koridai, but was eventually beaten by M. Bison.
  • His worst enemy is not Ganon, but actually the Scatman, who tries to crucify him.
  • Even though he is a Nintendo character, he wants a Playstation 3 because he claims he "can't use the [[[Wii]]'s] controller."
  • He got a job at Gwonam's restaurant, Squadala Burger, in an attempt to earn money to buy a PlayStation 3. It didn't work out because no one came to the restaurant wanting burgers.
  • Had a short-lived career as the guitarist of the Zora band The Indigo-Go's until the other band members discovered he actually stole the identity of the true guitarist, then deceased.
  • According to Screwattack, Link's sword is enough for him after all, because his sword was added to their Armory.
  • Also, like Darth Vader, Yoda, and The Apprentice appearing in Soulcalibur IV, Link also appeared in Soulcalibur II (Along with Spawn and Heihachi Mishima of the Tekken series, but they never met each other, as they all appeared in different versions of the game, Link in the GameCube version.). Another interesting note is that Link and Yoshimitsu have had the same voice actor.
  • His younger self likes to drink a whole bottle of milk while fighting in Super Smash Bros. Melee.
  • Once got a hug from Cremia. He enjoyed it greatly.
  • Can't use a crossbow for shit, so he uses the Wii Zapper.
  • When his head detaches from his body, he transforms into the fabled "Link's Floating Head of Benevolence".
  • One time, he went to face Ganon with just bombs! Guess Gwonam was wrong about his sword after all.
  • When Link skydives, he's usually shown shocked at what's actually above him!
  • When the King once demanded Link to take his damn clothes off, he accepted his proposal. You can see him naked right here.
  • {\King Harkinian often asks Link to scrub all the floors in Hyrule, or else he is taken away to the pit. However, Link enjoys this because the pit is apparently filled with lotsa spaghetti.
  • He bombed the V of Doom with a C4 disguised as a Virtual Boy Controller.