Mario

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Name: Mario
Appears In: Super Mario World
Sex: Male
DOB: 1951 (age 69–70)
Nationality: American
Occupation(s): Plumber (formerly a Carpenter)
Played By: Peter Cullen/Captain Lou Albano/Walker Boone/Ronald B. Ruben/Charles Martinet

Mario is a notorious character who stars in many great games, as well as Hotel Mario. He usually shows up in poops alongside Luigi, who has been known to have an even greater quantity of personalities than his little big brother. A staple of YouTube Poop, Mario has had many an adventure over the years: he's crucified his brother, mastered the power supply of UCTIONS, and watched The Room with Luigi and Princess Toadstool.

Mario has had several conflicts with his brother, arguing where the princess is, over Luigi's craftsmanship, saying that "he didn't make it", and an argument over a record.

Mario has an obsession with saying NO very dramatically, talking about instruction books, the Coney Island Disco Palace (which was condemned in 2009 and torn down in 2010), humping vines, and riding Yoshi on certain occasions like Cave Christmas, and when he's too lazy to walk. He also seems to know the location of fires by locating smoke, and pinching currency in his spare time.

Mario is also the creator of the Cave Christmas holiday, which he endorses by dressing up as Santa Mario.

Mario had also met the cowboy known as Tex Avery, the two of them had a partnership in Youtube Poop.

Mario once literally shat his way to being a sign for the YouChewPoop forums.

He is not to be confused with Fat Mario, Mario's fat stunt double in Hotel Mario or the deceased Real Mario, his wrestling counterpart.

He is revealed to be of the homo nintendonus descendants of creatures.

In the King's Epic Adventure Timeline, Mario was first met in the basement of Totally Depraved Evil Insideous Man's Coney Island Disco Castle Koopa, wherein he reveals the fragility of the walls, and guides King Harkinian, Snake, Otocan to safety. He is listed as an eventual adversary that the king will have to fight and make eat his shit, presumably with the official name of Jumpman, as a reference to his roots.

{{#ev:youtube|MytfhzcSF-Y|320}}Mario in real life.

Life

Mario was born in the year 1951 to 2 unknown parents, along with his brother, Luigi. As they were arriving at their parents' house, the stork carrying them was attacked by A koopa wizard and a Magnum Bill. His brother, Luigi, was captured by this Koopa wizard, whereas Mario was dropped, to fall upon Yoshi, who, with the help of his friends, rescued the stork and Luigi, and they were brought to their parents.

In 1953, Mario and Luigi, in a sort of paradox, somehow met their future selves from 200X, helping them bring down the Shroobs. In 1954, concerned with the danger that they faced, his parents moved from the Mushroom Kingdom to Brooklyn, New York.

By 1981, Mario would eventually have a job as a carpenter and a pet ape, which would turn on him and steal his girlfriend of the time, Pauline. The next year, Mario would try killing Donkey Kong, which was foiled by Donkey Kong's son.

By 1983, Mario would quit his job as a Carpenter to become a Plumber. In 1985, Mario and his brother, Luigi, would discover an entrance to the Mushroom Kingdom, which they would also discover had been invaded by King Koopa/Bowser. Eventually, Mario and Luigi would defeat him by chopping his bridge down twice, making him fall in to boiling lava.

In 1987, Mario would end-up having a dream invaded by a frog and his minions, though eventually this frog would be killed after being choked with vegetables. Also in 1987, Mario would guest referee in fights of the WVBA, overseeing such bouts as Little Mac vs. Mike Tyson.

In 1988, Bowser would invade 7 other kingdoms, this time with Airships and the help of his children. He would also capture Princess Toadstool for unknown reasons. Mario and Luigi would eventually, though, defeat all of his children, as well as Bowser himself, freeing these kingdoms, and rescuing Princess Toadstool again.

In 1989, Mario, Luigi, and Princess Toadstool took a vacation to Dinosaur Land, where Bowser captured the Princess yet again. While in the process of rescuing her, Mario and Luigi met Yoshi again after 38 years. They eventually rescued the Princess, but unfortunately, Luigi made contact with Anti-Uctions, turning him in to the monster Mama Luigi. Eventually, this menace would use pirated magic on Yoshi to brainwash him, which failed. Later, Mario would testify against Mama Luigi in a lawsuit from Wizardheimer.

Later that year, Mario and his friends (as well as Bowser and a Koopa Troopa) would establish the Mario Kart Grand Prix, with tracks around the world in 5 different cups. In addition, Mario bought his own island.

In 1990, with an epidemic plaguing the Mushroom Kingdom, Mario would become Dr. Mario, so that he could fight the epidemic.

In 1992, the island that he had bought earlier was taken over by the greedy Wario, though Mario would eventually take his island back and defeat Wario.

In 1993, He and Yoshi were given a Super Scope and ordered by Princess Toadstool Princess Peach to rescue Jewelery Land, which they did.

In 1996, Mario was invited to Princess "Peach" Toadstool's castle for some cake, though unfortunately, it was actually Bowser, who had taken over the castle and captured the Princess yet again. After collecting 8 Power Stars, he went and fought Bowser, then went to collect more Power Stars, then fought Bowser again. After collecting the rest of the Power Stars, Mario fought Bowser one final time. After defeating him, Mario rescued the Princess, who finally gave him his promised cake.

Later that year, the Mario Kart Grand Prix was overhauled with new tracks in other parts of the world, with one even in Johto (Moo Moo Farm). This time, Koopa Troopa did not return, and Donkey Kong Jr. had grown up. Wario, though, was finally invited to race.

In 2001, Mario would be captured by King Boo, to be liberated by Luigi and a vacuum cleaner.

In 2002, Princess Peach was captured by the 8th child of Bowser: Bowser Jr., who had claimed that he was his mother, while they were on vacation to Isle Delfino. He would also graffiti the whole island, and would frame Mario himself for the graffiti. Unfortunately, since neither any good lawyers, nor even any intelligent people reside on the island, Mario was ruled guilty by the judge. However, Mario would eventually defeat Bowser Jr. and prove himself innocent of the crimes.

In 2003, the Mario Kart Grand Prix was overhauled a second time, only with new 2-person karts, as well as new characters added. Later, in 2005, the Mario Kart Grand Prix was overhauled yet again, this time with old tracks reinstated in new cups, and the elimination of 2 person karts.

In 2007, when visiting the Princess on a special occasion, Bowser, using his Doomships, lifted the whole of the castle in to space. Eventually, Bowser's new galaxy was destroyed, creating a black hole, which was stopped by the Lumas, which sacrificed themselves. Three years later, Bowser went and used Rosalina's star powers to grow into sizes that he never experienced before, which made him want to repeat his plans once again. Of course, Bowser never learns the lesson that those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it, as Mario ended up defeating him once again. Bowser got sucked in a new black hole, Rosalina got her ship around, and the Luma from Super Mario Galaxy 2 ended up returning to his mom.

In 2013, Mario grew a paraphilia for cats, he and his friends, were wondering in the fields near the Castle when they found a "broken", clear pipe. Mario and his brother, Luigi, fix the pipe only to find a Sprixie. Too bad for her, she gets kidnapped by you-know-who, and taken into the Sprixie Kingdom. Mario has to set out on an adventure in Super Mario 3D World, a game for furfaggots only.

Likes

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Whale Mario
Mario in the rare form called Homestar Mario.
Mario's new golden trophy.

Dislikes

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Here's a common artist's wrong intrepretation of what Mario's like when he finds a mushroom.
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Mario after eating the wrong mushroom. Or what you would see if you ate the wrong one.
Bowser Jr. has invaded Mario's page!
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Mario riding on an inflated light blue Yoshi.

Quotes

Mario Mario

It's-a me, Mario!

Mario Mario

Heh Heh, that's-a going online.

Mario Mario

You didn't tell me that you had a secret weapon Luigi.

Mario Mario

It's a stone Luigi. You didn't make it.

Mario Mario

Luigi, King Koopa's locked the Princess in his Coney Island Disco Palace; I've fought my way out, and I've been looking for you ever since. We've gotta go back and rescue her!

Mario had a cameo appearance in the second Ouendan! game.
Looks like Kirby's got some competition in these parts. In other unrelated news, Mario loves listening to some mushroomhead.
Some say this picture was the reason why Mario went to outer space without a spacesuit... twice.
Mario Mario

Ugh, now I know how a meatball feels.

Mario Mario

And there's this nice guy named Santa Claus, who brings presents to all the kids, who've been good.

Mario Mario

You know what dey say - all Koopas scoop koop!

Mario Mario

SUPER BONERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mario Mario

NO! Suck my big, fat meatballs!!

Mario Mario

Maybe we'll see you on "PBS"!

Mario Mario

Let's-a go!

Mario Mario

Mamma mia!

Mario Mario

The store, she's-a so rich... she'll-a never notice!

Mario Mario

Hey, Robotnik! Do you want to play DOOM?

Mario Mario

Hey!! What's-a taking so long? I got to go to Jamaica!!

Mario Mario

This looks intentional. Not yet!

Mario Mario

If you can't beat them, join them...THEN BEAT THEM! THEN JOIN THEM!

Mario Mario

SO LONG, GAY BOWSA!

Caution: Editors at work.  This article is a work in progress and so may not be ready for public viewing, and content can change at any time. You can help by contributing to it and discussing on its talk page.
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Facts

Mario's not only a metalhead, but he's also a rapper. Now that's multi-tasking!
  • One time, he, along with Luigi once wrestled against some dinosaurs.
  • Does not want to see Leo's baby pictures (although Leo thinks otherwise).
  • His own feet actually made it into Screwattack's little ol' Armory.
  • Mario pretends to be a selfless hero, but in reality he only saves the Princess so he can get laid.
  • Discovered a taste sensation called Koopameat, which Bowser tried to counter with Scoopa Koopa's.
  • Is the inventor of the Dino-Copter and Tossed Salad.
  • Was a referee in the NES' version of Punch-Out!!
  • He was once complimented on his hair by Don Flamenco.
  • He hates the fact that in some parts of Mexico and South America, a fighter named Terry Bogard is more popular than he is.
  • If you were in Club Nintendo of 2009 & you had a platinum status, you could choose to either get a code on November 1st to download Doc Louis' Punch-Out!! game on the Nintendo Wii's Wiiware or get a (good) replica of Mario's hat. Mario would automatically approve of you if you chose his hat over Doc Louis' Punch-Out!! game!!!
  • Mario thinks it's a sad day when everyone's nice to each other.
  • He also believes that Santa Mario's going to be an absurdity of St. Louis.
  • It's nice for him to think that there really is a word named "Christmas".
  • However, it's weird that he thinks that kids should get lots of trees.
  • He has a micropenis that could get Super Boners.
Caution: Editors at work.  This article is a work in progress and so may not be ready for public viewing, and content can change at any time. You can help by contributing to it and discussing on its talk page.
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Forms

Mario, much like his brother Luigi, has been featured in various adaptations of varying quality over the years. Throughout the years of YouTube Poop, different iteration of the character (which will be referred to from here on out as 'forms') have been used in Poops and have taken on a life of their own.

In Super Mario Bros. Super Show, The Adventures of Super Mario Bros. 3, and Super Mario World, Mario is portrayed as an explicitly middle-aged Italian American from Brooklyn. Many of this forms's appearances in Poops have spawned from Super Mario World, but appearences from the other two shows are not uncommon. This is the form from which Good Truthful Honest Totally Depraved Evil Insidious Giant Ninja Mario spawned from.

In Hotel Mario, Mario is portrayed rather plainly - this form's popularity in Poop comes not from his milctose personality, but from the general infamy of the game he spawns from and the hammy lines that he and his brother spout throughout the game's cutscene. This form in particular has gained a great level of distinction in Poop, eventually being dubbed Fat Mario by the community.

The form of Mario found in Mario Teaches Typing 2 has been dubbed Mario Head, becoming infamous for its bizarre eccentricies and mannerisms, as well as its ripeness for Chroma Key.

Once a staple of YouTube Poop, Malleo and his more famous brother Weegee have fallen into disuse as the years have passed. Supposedly the sons of Fortran, they are said to make people their clones/minions just by looking at them.

Despite having many different main forms, Mario is pretty much dressed the same way for most of his forms. Skin tone and hair color may vary throughout. Voice may vary as well.

Known Forms of Mario

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Fat Mario, reading about his other forms on the Chewiki.
  • Whale Mario - A form that denies being related to the other forms.
  • Good Truthful Honest Totally Depraved Evil Insidious Giant Ninja Mario - A form of Mario that's obviously a giant ninja. However, he's conflicted on being perfectly good and perfectly evil.
  • 1 Eyed Orange Mario - A form of Mario that has been rumored to be created by some evil Satanic ritual.
  • Fat Mario - Gay Luigi's butt buddy on the journey to defeat the mighty toasters and save the Princess from Bowser.
  • Mario Head - Was created when a demon cut off Game Mario's head with an axe. He now exacts revenge on humans by making them fly for you... in to Mario's Tunnel of-a Doom!
  • Paper Mario - A paper form of Mario. Yep.
  • Dr. Mario - Becomes that when Mario watches too much House, Scrubs, E.R., and other shows like that. Is unique due to the fact that he also appeared in Super Smash Bros. Melee and Super Smash Bros for 3DS & Wii U, which meant that Dr. Mario could fight Mario whenever he wanted to. Wow.
  • Paper Dr. Mario - A form of Dr. Mario that met Paper Mario one day. Don't ask.
  • Game Mario - Not Mario.
  • Fortran - Also not Mario... at all.
  • Mari - A form where Mario fights like he's in Street Fighter II.
  • Somari - A fucked-up fusion between Mario and Sonic the Hedgehog. Pretty much self-explanitory.
  • Malltranari - What happens when Malleo, Fortran, and Mari gets fused together. May God help us all if that happens.
  • Santa Mario - Mario doing the good deed of Santa's doing for the Cave People during Christmas.
  • Malleo - A very powerful but silent form. Also a dead meme, like Dog Flipping A Pancake.
  • Anime Mario - A video gaming messed-up Mario.
  • Shadow Mario - Is not really a form of Mario, but rather a clever disguise made by Bowser Jr.
  • Homestar Mario - Mario while in Homestar Runner's universe.
  • The Simpsons' Mario - Mario as he's seen with yellow skin. Why they don't a Luigi version of him, I'll never know. Actually, he did appear with Mario once, so yeah.
  • Giant Ninja Mario - Basically the same thing as Good Truthful Honest Totally Depraved Evil Insidious Giant Ninja Mario, only he's confirmed what side he's on.
  • Bloated Mario - Appears when Mario swallows too much water or Chuckola Cola. Not to be confused with Fat Mario.
  • Referee Mario - Mario as a referee during boxing matches. Is seen in the Punch-Out!! game with Mike Tyson and Mr. Dream.
  • Luigi Mario - Formed when Mario wears Luigi's clothes/steals his voice.
  • Wario - Not really Mario, just some stupid rival. He ended up getting his own identity by his WarioWare Land series.
  • Real Mario - The real live-action Mario who used to live in Brooklyn with Real Luigi until he died.
  • Mario Mario - The fake live-action Mario living in Brooklyn with Luigi Mario, the fake version of Real Luigi.
  • Baby Mario - The paradoxical baby form of Mario that was previously just the baby form of Mario before traveling to the future and becoming a separate entity.

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