Morshu

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Name: Morshu von Hundinberg
Appears In: Link: Faces of Evil, Sonic Unleashed?
Sex: Male
DOB: 1941 (age 79–80)
Nationality: German
Occupation(s): Shopkeep, Small Business Owner, Restaurant Manager

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You want it?

The man who is found in Link: Faces of Evil. A local merchant, his real name is Morshu Hundenbilg, but prefers to be called "Malfunctioning Bubba", in rememberence of his college years. Also mistaken for Tim Wonnacott.

His main products include lamp oil, rope, and bombs, among other "things". He also acts like a jerk to people who aren't rich enough to buy things. All payments for his wares must be made up front, since he can't give credit.

He has a secret food stash in his shop. He doesn't sell the food so he can eat it himself, hence his large size. Another reason for his weight is because he has an unhealthy habit of eating bombs. He was also the lead singer of The Cure for two months, although there is no record of this.

Cultural Heritage: Germany

History

Morshu as he appears on the cover art of A Confederacy of Dunces.

Morshu's parents, Franz and Eidelwiess Hundinbilg, immigrated to Koridai in 1936. Three years later, Edielwiess Hundinberg gave birth to Morshu's older brother, Shastock. Shastock, however, had complications with the Spanish flu, and died due to an overdose of penicillin at 19 years of age.

In an attempt to start a family again(Franz and Eidelwiess were only 12 when they were married, as per Gamelon custom), they then gave birth to Morshu. Morshu, early in his life, showed a great capacity for wild hand gesticulations and dramatic close-ups. Seeing the potential, his parents put Morshu in an apprenticeship with the then-leading merchant of Koridai, Goronu.

Morshu, however, soon grew so skilled in the art of shopkeeping, that he overcame Goronu, who grew exceedingly jealous of Morshu's skills. Goronu soon approached Ganon, whom he traded his soul to for the ultimate in shop-keeping powers. Using his newfound strength, Goronu attacked Morshu's shop in an attempt to rid himself of the troublesome pupil. However, on the way, Goronu got jock itch, and had to leave in order to deal with the tremendous pain. Morshu, seeing his oppurtunity, opened up a chain of stores in Goronu's absence, becoming the third wealthiest man in Koridai (behind Harlequin and Gwonam). In 1967, he opened Morshu's Dinner Palace, which became a very successful restaurant, catering to the then college seniors, The King, and Duke Onkled. The place was well known for it's well cooked meals and Morshu's great singing. It closed in 1985, when the techno craze started, because Morshu was afraid to use anything that was a computer. He sold the restaurant to some guy named Rick for 200,000 ruppees and 50 cans of lamp oil.

With his newfound wealth, Morshu lead a consistantly opulent lifestyle, feasting regularly on Arpagos eggs and pure fat. He also gained even more income by regularly supplying the one thing The King always strived for: Child pornography.

Unfortunately for Morshu, the KBG, upon finding Morshu directly linked to the child pornography ring in Koridai, descended upon Morshu and managed to foreclose most of his chain stores. To compund to his problems, Goronu recovered from jock itch, and was "itching" for revenge. Morshu, faced with so many problems, had to declare bankruptcy and foreclose on all of his properties.

By the time Link reaches Koridai, Morshu is a shadow of his former self. Only controlling the market on Lamp Oil, Rope, Bombs, et all, he is in a dire state, so much that he is no longer able to give credit, due to Goronu's strong-men continually harassing him. He says that Link must pay full-price for all goods, but he really is willing to take anything, any contribution Link offers.

Upon the defeat of Goronu by Link, Morshu is able to open a parlor on the side to earn a little bit of extra income. It turns to be a great success, though only after making the parlor an underground meeting-place for Gwonam's drug cartels. .

Morshu finally passed away in 1997 due to heart problems contracted from cholosterol problems. He is survived by 16 children out of wedlock. He also has a distant cousin named I. Fleecem. The two were good friends back in the 1950's. Morshu worked as Fleecem's apprentice and learned all about how to run a good buisness before becoming Goronu's apprentice. Fleecem however made the mistake of offering people credit instead of full payments. In 1947, he sold the King lamp oil, rope, dinner, and a ship on credit. 61 years later, the King still refuses to pay. This event is partly why Morshu could never give credit, as he thought that the King would refuse to pay him as well.

Morshu was released from The Pit after some time, partially due to a lack of space in The Pit. He immediately returned to his store, and now has a job making music in addition to being a shopkeep.


Morshu once unsuccessfully did a cover of "Never Gonna Give You Up"[1], "About you Now"[2], and "Headphones On"[3].

{{#ev:youtube|avL4_WiIS9U|320}}


Morshu in Sonic Unleashed?

An Ice Cream salesman, in Sonic Unleashed, looks a lot like Morshu. Many people spectulated that the Ice Cream seller IS Morshu, but with a little different job and different products.

Usage

Despite having only two lines of dialogue throughout the entirety of Link: Faces of Evil, Morshu has always been a staple in the world of YouTube Poop. He is particularly recognized for the "Mmmmm..." sound that he makes while in deep thought, but words like "rope" and "bombs" have also become synonymous with the tubby shopkeeper. He is very prevalent in a few YTPMVs.

{{#ev:youtube|EHLSX_O9KqY|320}}Morshu already made something that nobody else did, yet.

Notable Poops

Also Known As

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Morshu in a deleted scene.
  • The Shopkeep
  • The Shopkeeper
  • Goronu, due to a mistake by Gwonam or the viewer.
  • Malfunctioning Bubba
  • Fat Guy
  • MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • James Bond (This name comes from his alter-ego.)
{{#ev:youtube|BEj9QOEXV8s|320}}Morshu being a dick as usual.

See Also

Trivia

  • Sometimes, he wants you to give up for no apparent reason.
  • He also thinks that the new Xbox sucks.
  • His favourite song is "MMM MMM MMM MMM" by The Crash Test Dummies.
  • He has his own show and his own movie.
  • According to Gwonam, he is a "Fatass cock knocker".
  • He is not allowed to be on airplanes. This is becuase he was once suspected of selling bombs to Muslim extremeists.
    • However, this doesn't bother Morshu much since he has his own bomber plane.
  • Despite dying from weight problems, he still hasn't gone on a fucking diet.
  • His second favourite song is "I wanna MMM MMM" by The lawyer.
  • He enjoys eating lard, raw fat, and sips Lamp oil every day.
  • He loathes Link, as he never buys a fucking thing from his store and begs for credit- which Morshu shall never give.
  • Was in the US Marine Corps, and was asked by his drill sergeant if he sucked dicks. He replied "as long as you have enough rubies". Needless to say, GySgt. Hartman beat the ever-living shit out of him while belittling him massively.

{{#ev:youtube|nCmFRRpV9AU|320}}

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As long as you have enough rubies.
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Sorry Link, I can't give credit.

Quotes

Morshu Morshu

'''BOMBS!!!'''

Morshu Morshu

"You want it?!"

Morshu Morshu

"Lamp oil, rope, BOMBS: you want it?! It's yours, my friend, as long as you have enough rubies."

Morshu Morshu

"MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Morshu Morshu

"Sorry Link, I can't give credit! Come back when you're a little, MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM, RICHER!!!"

Morshu Morshu

"You are my friend."

Morshu Morshu

"MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM, Link!"

Morshu Morshu

"I want your credit card!"

Morshu Morshu

"Link's mom has little boobies."

Morshu Morshu

"Come back when you're a little, MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM...boobier!"

Morshu Morshu

"You want my CuMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM?"

Morshu Morshu

"Up yours, my friend!"

Morshu Morshu

"MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM, Turkey!"