Orson Welles is a film actor, director and writer, most famous for being the writer and lead actor in Citizen Kane, considered by some to be the greatest film of all time. He's a genius who has a huge amount of sexual fetishes.
Orson Welles did a prank in the late 1930's via radio, claiming that aliens were attacking the world. This made all of Hyrule commit suicide before he revealed it as a joke. After he ran away from the angry mob, Welles made some movie about a sled or something like that. After Citizen Kane, he went on appear in films like The Third Man (as villainous Harry Lime), Touch of Evil, and appeared as a character in Tim Burton's Ed Wood. His most recent advertising work was in commercials for frozen peas, wine, fish sticks, and a "living will", which he only did for the money. His final film role before his death was as Unicron in The Transformers: The Movie. (Of course, to the '80s generation of people, this was ironically considered his best film.)
- The attention Citizen Kane has received
- Rosebud Frozen Peas
- Brotto Bros. Wine
- Mrs. Pell's Fishsticks...
- When they are raw.
- When he is dead.
- When they are raw and he is dead.
- Actually, just them in general.
- Jay Sherman's sister
- French fries
- The Afterlife (It is full of Ms. Pell's Fish Sticks.)
- Making jugs appear or disappear.
- Making magic jugs disappear.
- Wedges & Mead
- Making some epic introductions to things.
- French fries stuck in his beard.
- The Green Book
- People who mistake peaness for "penis".
- Poisoned wine
- Jay Sherman
- The Living Will
- Normal wills written on paper.
- Line readings
- Transformers (Which he claims is about "big, evil toys that attack other toys".)
Appears In Poops By
- "Hello, I'm Orson Welles. What follows is a terrifying journey into the world of magic, mystery..."
- "What? Look, I don't need to do this; I've got a fishstick commercial in an hour! ...Oh, what the Hell, I need the money."
- "What follows is a terrifying journey into the world of probate, beneficiaries, and goblins!"
- "Fine, fine; no goblins."
- "I give you... The Living Will. *evil laughter*"
- "And remember, there is no fishstick like Mrs. Pells."
- "I know, that was just a declaration of love. ...Yes! Oh yes! They're even better raw!"
- "Yes, Rosebud Frozen Peas. Full of country goodness and green peaness."
- "Wait, that's terrible. I quit! Just a handful for the road."
- "Oh, what luck! There's a French fry stuck in my beard! (chomp, chomp)"
- "Oh, what luck. There's a French fry stuck in my penis!"
- "I have gone onto a better place: a place filled with Mrs. Pell's Fish Sticks."
- "They're even better when you're dead!"
- "A rich, full-bodied wine sensibly priced at a dollar a jug. And now, for a little magic, I will make this jug disappear."
- "I like my dick. No wait, I love my dick! Do you like my penis?"
- "For concrete agreements and penis."
- "OOOHH, THE FRENCH! ...champagne has always been celebrated for its excellence... there is in California a champagne by Paul Mason... inspired... by that same French excellence... it's fermented in a bottle and like the best French champagne... it's vintage dated..."
- "This champagne doesn't come from France, but it was created by a man who did!"
- "You know what I did this morning? I played the voice of a toy. Some terrible robot toys from Japan that changed from one thing to another. The Japanese have funded a full-length animated cartoon about the doings of these toys, which is all bad outer-space stuff. I play a planet. I menace somebody called Something-or-other. Then I'm destroyed. My plan to destroy Whoever-it-is is thwarted and I tear myself apart on the screen."
- The Amazing Atheist listed him as having the third best movie voice of all time, right behind Clint Eastwood and a tie between Morgan Freeman and James Earl Jones.
- Wally Burr killed him. Just ask Michael Bell!
- He had a secret obsession over the Green Book. But since he's dead, it's now
lost somewhere in the space-time continuumturned into a CD. Yep.