Richard Nixon

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Name: Richard Milhous Nixon
Sex: Male
Age: 81 (Nah, he's fuckin' dead as fuck.)
Nationality: American
Occupation(s): Lawyer, California Representative/Senator, US Vice President, US President, President of Earth.
Played By: Himself, Billy West, Frank Langella, Anthony Hopkins

Richard Nixon was the 37th President of the United States. He believed that if he does something illegal, then it is not illegal, because he is the President of the United States. Though insistent he is not a crook, the record of the Watergate scandal indicates otherwise. He serves as a fascinating case study to the degree in which paranoia can consume an individual.

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An actor playing Richard Nixon.
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Despite not liking the reds, Nixon sometimes looked rather pink.

History

We all know what we need to know about Nixon. But what we don't know is his secret life. He personally had trouble closing and opening doors, and he believed the purpose of life was being able to find water. There was more to this, but eighteen-and-a-half minutes were erased. You decide what the truth is. It is all a conspiracy.

Quotes

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FUCKING KENNEDYS GET AWAY WITH EVERYTHING. GOD DAMN.

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In the old days people knew how to hold power

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I'm saying that when the President does it, that means it's not illegal

Richard Nixon Richard Nixon

I am not a crook.

Richard Nixon Richard Nixon

China.

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Russians.

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Kahn.

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Somebody's breaking in!

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Any last words Mr. President?

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Damn hippies

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Boom goes the explosion

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Ray Gun!

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The last six Roman emperors were fags.

Richard Nixon Richard Nixon

But I'm not dead yet! In fact, I just wrote an article for RedBook!

Likes

  • Falling for hours
  • His supporters
  • Henry Kissinger
  • Spiro Agnew
  • Gerald Ford
  • His beloved Cocker Spaniel, Checkers

Dislikes

  • Neji
  • Looking at another man's gizmo.
  • The Kennedys
  • The press
  • Numerous politicians, journalists, and entertainers on his enemies list

Trivia

  • Nixon happens to be an old acquaintance of GameCubeHero.
  • He once tried to become President of Jar Jar Binks' people, until he realized what numbskulls they are.
  • His nickname was "Tricky Dick" back when he was president.
    • His nickname is the dirtiest non-porn nickname in history.
      • Strangely enough, one of the guys who kept the Watergate scandal alive was W. Mark Felt, the FBI's #2, nicknamed "Deep Throat" after a porno.
  • Like Joseph Stalin and John F. Kennedy, he was also mentioned in Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start the Fire" (twice, in fact).
  • Believe it or not, he was a Quaker.
  • By the year 3000, his head will be revived and placed in a jar for posterity.
    • In that time, he will be a president once again due to a loophole in the U.S. system.
  • Won the 2016 Youchew Halloween Election, beating rivals Chew Trump, JFK, and the Hulk.
  • Despite being a paranoid corrupto, somehow still manages to be somewhat less bad than most subsequent Republican US presidents.
  • He included some entertainment figures with left-wing views on his enemies list, leading to some strange appearances like Paul Newman and June Foray.
    • That being said, he was prescient to include Bill Cosby on it (even if for the wrong reasons).