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User:NextG/NextG (What Doesn't Kill Ya Makes Ya) Poop

From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
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Opening title screen.

NextG (What Doesn't Kill Ya Makes Ya) Poop, or NXGWDKYMYP, is a 25-minute poop created by NextG due to the success of NextG's Big Show What a Thrill Congratulations!. The video was uploaded in three parts on September 23 and October 1 and 7, 2007.

Contents[edit]

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The program starts with a montage of video clips set to Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger by Daft Punk, with the words flashing in and out on the top and bottom of the screens. Later, a mother duck is attempting to have a baby, but her overdose on vitamins produces Baby Huey, who somehow ends up in the dry swimming pool. Immediately rejected, we move on as Dr. Eggman blows up a bunch of explosives and citizens walk on the road with the cars on sidewalks. A technical fault.

It is at this point where we see "WELL, NOT ME!!" and several short clips which make recurring cameos in the program. A WWE Smackdown! wedding is ultimately ruined by such things as a little green leprechaun and the groom suddenly (and we do mean suddenly, by means of cutscene) fainting in the arena. Yet another montage of short clips appears. This new montage includes the first appearance of Sheriff Don shielding away a kid's face and saying, "Ahh, can't look over there." At the Shop 'n Learn Market, we are told to "please scan the milk on your ass." And the voice-activated password for the Password Journal is "Dick." The coolest part, of course, we don't get to see, due to Sheriff Don (see above).

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Cut to Pest Pupil, another Baby Huey short. The three "good little ducklings" present the teacher with apples, but Huey of course smashes a "jelly donut" on the table. After knocking two of the other ducks off a see-saw, the teacher decides she's had enough of it and expels Huey, who is now stuck with a duck character who may have been inspired by Ludwig von Drake. "Imitation Drake" and Huey ride the piano into explosives.

A medication is offered FREE...with a $4.95 shipping charge. ("They let you try it free?" asks a woman. "NO!!!" says an off-screen man.) Curly Howard receives the "Dear Pesky Plumbers" letter, and "Big Feet" stomp on the floor. Meanwhile, Danny (the "Tourettes Guy") complains to Ed Rooney about Colgate toothpaste which he says "made [him] feel like a piece of s***." After this scene, we see a man talking about a diamond: "...to cut this beautiful, beautiful shape and fit it on your ass, so that it really looks the leaves of a four-leaf clover."

But the "ass-talking" doesn't stop there. Bloopy wants to find out what Jumping Jack has in his ass, but Sheriff Don won't let us:

  • Bloopy: "What's in your ass, Jumpin' Jack?"
  • Jack: "Let's see Bloopy! Drumroll please!" [he starts trilling like a drumroll]
  • Sheriff Don: "Ahh, can't look over there!"

And, Raffi sings a song about butt problems:

  • Raffi: "Trouble with my butt / There was something in my ass / So I took it and I shook it / Well, lookit, lookit, lookit!" [spoken] "You know what fell out?"
  • Audience: "What fell out?!"

(Originally "the farm" fell out, but he follows up later by saying that such things as the Package Shark and various hardware store items fall out of the butt.)

Later on in the movie, we find the world-famous "Cool It Caterpillar Breath" scene that marked the start of that crazed Mama Luigi sensation...only this time it's "Bitch Luigi!"

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We leave this scene as a forest ranger notices that "the lake is loaded," and disrupts Humphrey the Bear's search for fish. The station becomes flooded with lights, thanks to "your ass." A garbage fight erupts.

The next segment begins as we are confronted with the situation of opening those "hard-to-open plastic packages." Fortunately, the Package Shark comes in handy, or so we're expected to believe. (As aforementioned, it falls out of the butt later.) And so does the iRock (a cheap version of Apple's iPhone which is apparently for anyone who can take a hit...literally). Germs cheer in delight. Moe and Curly secretly pass cards. And the AT&T Real Yellow Pages have more complete ads and up-to-date listings...which cause problems.

A "(Nonsense) Marvelous Musical Montage" set to "It's Christmas at Ground Zero" plays. In this case, Ground Zero is Ashton Park. More stomping of big feet. Buzz and Shirley talk about why they switched auto insurance companies to "Your Ass" while the Lycos Dog gets the Scotsman's underwear to him successfully (a feat that was accomplished at the beginning of every NextG Poop video). As the insurer says, "I even insured their ass."

The program concludes with "countless homes purchased for pennies on the dollar..." and the recurring clips get a curtain call. The closing credits feature a final montage of videos set to "The Curly Shuffle."