Princess Zelda

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Name: Zelda Harkinian
Appears In: The Legend of Zelda
Sex: Female
DOB: 1985 (age 35–36)
Nationality: Danish
Occupation(s): Princess
Played By: Jun Mizusawa, Cynthia Preston, Bonnie Jean Wilbur

Not Zelda.

To learn about Zelda's pregnancy, see Pregnant Zelda.

Zelda is the daughter of the King of Hyrule and therefore the princess of the kingdom of Hyrule. She worries about her father thus constantly seeking Impa for guidance. She is in no way related to the Princess of the Mushroom Kingdom. Much in the same way as Link, she is the current standing princess of Hyrule, was preceded by herself and will be succeeded by herself. Her CD-i incarnation was represented on Youchew Trading Card #4.

Skills

She can play Chuck Fo Fu-- ermm -- Scentless Apprentice on the flute very loudly, smash golems, melt wizards into bubbling pools of goo, get Nintendo products like the Power Glove, and laugh in a disturbing manner alongside her father.

Controversy

Zelda is always in constant feud with Ganon. One day she brought light to his lair, but Ganon did not take this lightly. Ganon sent bolts towards her and claimed that she would die. In retaliation to his threat, she chained Ganon up and threw him into the Book of Koradai.

Legal Issues

Zelda is currently fighting over legal custody of her child with Ganon, Ganon Jr. Also, Zelda was recently revealed to be a scam artist from Nigeria in Judge Judy's courtroom while she was serving as a witness for Ms. Filkins, but the fight ended due to Zelda's death.

Zelda, Link, King Harkinian, and Gwonam finally have their acclaimed dinner.
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Zelda could have won the Miss Alaska contest, due to her flute skills.
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Zelda doesn't feel too bad about brutally murdering Hektad.

Appearance & Personality

Zelda, unfortunately, is one of the homelier females of Hyrule due to her "small breast size" and annoying voice. Dispite the former, proof has been found on the YouChewPoop forums that Zelda is capable of being titty-fucked, confirmed to have done so with Link. She is known to have mood swings from time to time as a result of PMS. When she does not get her way she madly tosses mirrors into walls. Some say she is quite the whiner as well. Like most women, her main pet peeve is not receiving any calls or letters or emails from her loved ones at least twice a day. Despite her royal qualities, she is addicted to drugs, something her father disapproves of. She also gets drunk at parties frequently.

Memorable Quotes

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Princess Zelda

IMPA?!

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Princess Zelda

Nothing, Link. We were just about to have a feast.

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Princess Zelda

Father!

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Princess Zelda

But father, what if something happens to you?

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Princess Zelda

You've got to be kidding.

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Princess Zelda

Make me crouch down.

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Princess Zelda

Why'd you do that?!

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Princess Zelda

You did NOT!

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Princess Zelda

Hi, Father.

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Princess Zelda

What?!

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Princess Zelda

You know Link?

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Princess Zelda

What about Link?

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Princess Zelda

Do you see anything?

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Princess Zelda

Good!

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Princess Zelda

Guess again, iron knuckle!

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Princess Zelda

Heh! At least!

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Princess Zelda

I know!

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Princess Zelda

Thanks!

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Princess Zelda

What? Link? You've saved me!

(Since Goronu was posing as Zelda at the time, this quote could be attributed to him also.)

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Princess Zelda

Stop looking at yourself!"

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Princess Zelda

HA!

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Princess Zelda

Stop talking whore!

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Princess Zelda

Father! Stop talking about your dick.

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Princess Zelda

Word up, homie!

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Princess Zelda

Can't you just be straight for once?

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Princess Zelda

Let's go fuck!

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Princess Zelda

Wake up, Impa!