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Thomas the Tank Engine, a Communist Manifesto


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Communists have been infiltrating all areas of American entertainment since the Russian Revolution. All the while, they’ve been trying to steer us away from our God-given liberties and individual rights, and set us on the track for dangerous collective ownership and rule. McCarthy tried to hold them back in the 1950s, but he was a dummy, and since then our country has failed to block Communist propaganda no matter how blatant or harmful to us it may be. (This was never more evident when the population elected Obama, thus enabling him to pursue his own Stalinist benefits, but that’s another story.)

Admittedly, you won’t find much Marxist prop in mainstream adult films; message pictures have gone down in attendance and even subtle messages rarely get past the industry boards. In this case the filmmakers have to create a story that seems completely unrelated to political thinking, but nonetheless hammers in the point just the same. Take A Bug’s Life for example, in which the worker ants’ revolt against the greedy grasshoppers directly mirrors Marx’s visions of the proletariat rising over the bourgeoisie. “Ants don't serve grasshoppers! It's *you* who need *us*! We're a lot stronger than you say we are,” says protagonist Flik, an obvious stand-in for Vladimir Lenin. But that, too, is another story.

While full-length movies don’t provide good grounds for commie prop, children’s TV shows do. This is where the infiltrators can get us where it hurts. It’s been proven that adults never watch children’s television unless they’re insane, so they have no idea about what goes on in these programs. It’s also been proven that children of a young age are more impressionable and than any other demographic, and thus, easily swayed. The same kids who received Pixar’s collectivist message in A Bug’s Life are likely to receive even more powerful messages from the TV set, where they’re sure to be by themselves. And which show is responsible for spawning the biggest number of flag-burning, right-roasting commies in America today? If the title is any clue, it’s none other than…

Thomas the Tank Engine.

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You might be surprised. Thomas the Tank Engine originally consisted of a number of children’s books called The Railway Series, written by the British Reverend W. Awdry. These books lovingly detailed the adventures of Thomas, the little train engine, and all his different colored friends (Percy the shy one, Gordon the smug one, James the dick, etc.) on the railways of non-existing Sodor Island. Years later, housewife Britt Alcroft got the rights from Awdry to create a show based on the books; she eventually spent years building models and sets in her living room until the network picked up the show and aired it on the children’s hour. It became a critical and commercial success in Britain, where it appealed to almost all children (especially the autistic ones, for some reason), before the American stations paired it with the Mr. Conductor shorts to form Shining Time Station. These episodes, read in the soothing tones of Ringo Starr and George Carlin (and the not-so-soothing tones of Alec Baldwin), worked just as well for the American kids and became part of all of our childhoods.

But was there an ulterior motive behind the creation of the show? You bet there was. Never mind the fact that Britain and its colonies have been known Communist hotbeds for years, Thomas the Tank Engine gets away with an incredible amount of Karl Marx’s original teachings. Consider the following theory.

Sodor Island might as well be renamed the Union of Soviet Socialist Railways, for all its government and society tells us. In the world of Sodor, train engines have to do their best at their work, which includes vital transportation that improves the lives of everyone on the island. All of the drivers, farmers, miners, and signalmen, just as much as the trains, are all a part of the island’s order and stability. No one seems to pay for anything on Sodor; they trade one product for another as well as old engines for newer ones. There are no classes here; only the Fat Controller (Sir Topham Hatt for you US fags) seems to enjoy a life of more prestige than the rest, and it’s justified in his case.

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If an engine does well, he gets the reward of knowing he’s “a really useful engine.” Utility and usefulness are most important for the island’s engines; an engine must not think himself more important or more useful than the rest. Some of the trains on the island – Gordon, Daisy, Sir Handel, and Duncan, in turn – actually have to pay for their arrogance and pride (Gordon, for example, is sentenced to a night in the swamp), showing the virtues of supreme equality daily practiced here.

And should an engine fail to be useful, it’s to scrap they go. Yes, you can think of the engine scrapyard as this show’s version of the Cambodian killing fields, where unwanted and unhelpful engines go to die. “From each according to his abilities” is in full flower here. Mean-spirited, troublesome trains like Diesel have no place in the harmonious land of Sodor. Stepney nearly gets scrapped for being an idiot and getting lost, and Douglas only manages to save Oliver from scrap by convincing the boss of his Western make, making him a vital link to the rest of the capitalist world.

If you’re too useful to give up, but make a lot of dumb mistakes, the Fat Controller has a special punishment for you. Should you get into an accident (and the engines of Sodor very often do), you’ll be sent to be repaired and sent back to work in no time at all. The trains on the island are all very possibly suicidal, trying to get in bigger accidents to try to disable themselves, but the island keeps them working indefinitely for the greater good. There is no easy escape in Communistic society, and you’d sure as hell better not be a train.

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It’s fairly obvious which real-life character the Fat Controller is supposed to resemble. Although Stalin was never described as fat in any way, his stern persona and iron grip on the land matches the Controller perfectly. When the latter admonishes engines for causing “confusion and delay,” he’s reflecting the need for absolute order in Soviet Sodor; he will not tolerate dissension in any shape or form. Of course, the Fat Controller never orders the killings of any troublesome trucks, because the undertones couldn’t have been too obvious.

Minor details throughout the show give additional hints to the island’s true nature. Whenever a train disobeys its driver and makes its own decision (how this is possible I’m not sure), they always get in trouble; Percy, for example, wants to see the water and drowns himself, the little shit. This shows that people, like trains, should just stay in line and do what they’re told. Duck, a “Great Western” engine is looked upon with disdain by the other engines because he represents the greedy Capitalist world beyond Sodor, and can only convince them with his usefulness. Other forms of transportation, like buses and cars, are frowned upon as they cannot provide as much good to society as trains can, though like I said before there aren’t any real classes. The island only lets the Queen of England for, like, two minutes because anything more than that would be too much anti-Communist influence. Mavis is criticized for creating more work than she can give out; I bet she’s near the top of the Fat Controller’s “to kill scrap” list, especially since she’s a dirty diesel.

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If you thought that Thomas the Tank Engine was just a harmless train-themed children’s show meant to entertain the little ones (and engross the autistic ones), you thought wrong. Thomas the Tank Engine is a subliminal piece of Communist propaganda designed to turn your kids over to the far-left end of the spectrum. If you don’t show them a nice patriotic show like GI Joe or that cartoon about God, there’s no telling what our next generation’s going to be like.

And stay tuned for more Thomas and Comrades in the future.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EJpP7ZId-mc

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